Submitted by AggressivelyPurple t3_11aynsm in personalfinance
I am still dealing with my father's estate six months after his death because no one can find the freaking will. It's been one fiasco after another getting things untangled and now, even close to the end, I swear I need an interpreter to understand what on earth my own probate lawyer is saying. Right now, I'm about to lose my mind over the "administrator's fee." Apparently, I'm required to take a fee even though there isn't enough money left over in the estate for it and if I don't take it, I have to pay more in taxes. From what I can see, I'm supposed to pay almost $$$$ to the estate so as to pay myself? THIS MAKES ZERO SENSE. At this point, I just want the government to just take it all and leave me alone.
Please, go get your affairs in order. No grieving child should have to deal with this nonsense.
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OP AGAIN: You've all said very kind things and I appreciate hearing that I am not alone in this nightmare. I'm from a pretty poor working-class background. The only things that have to go through probate are one brokerage account & one savings account (worth less than 10k combined) and the house & car, which inexplicably were only in my dad's name despite the fact that he remarried 20 years ago. The real complicating factors are that his wife speaks very little English and I live 6 hours away on the other side of our state (PA). I hired a probate lawyer on my dad's side of the state because he advertised as being able to conduct business in my stepmother's language when needed, but I find myself frustrated and baffled by almost every email exchange with his paralegal despite being buried in enough higher education debt that I SHOULD be able to understand most of it. Whenever this all finishes up, I'm going to have to cough up money to settle half the taxes, lawyers fees, and my dad's final debts unless I want to sell my dad's banged-up 10-year-old car (mine own car is 21 years old, so I could actually use the thing) or force my stepmother to buy me out of my half of the house (which, if she dies without a will, would have to go through probate AGAIN, unless my name is on the deed.)
The ironic kicker to the whole mess is that my dad was somehow organized enough to make my stepmother beneficiary of his half a million dollars in retirement funds. So, yay, so glad to still be doing emotional labor for the abusive dad who essentially left me F-all.
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ANOTHER ADD: For those who are asking why my stepmother isn't handling all this since she got almost the entirety of my dad's wealth - A) If I'm dying trying to get through this process with English as my native language, I can't imagine how she would. I did a lot of searching and could not find any lawyers who specialized in probate and were bilingual in her mother tongue. My lawyer with the translator on staff was the best I could do. B) She and I are on reasonably good terms given the language barrier and I'm hoping in the end she will offer to pay the balance owed to clean this all up. I'm not going to demand anything though, because I'll be damned if my dad gets to f-up our relationship from beyond the grave.
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