Submitted by Kronodeus t3_10mx6v0 in personalfinance
As the title states, my dad is in a tough spot and is asking me for help. I don't know the full details of his situation (liquid assets, retirement accounts, etc) but I have a feeling whatever he was living off of is running out. He is a proud person and I don't think I've ever heard him ask for help, so I think it's serious.
He's 83 years old and lives in San Diego, CA. He doesn't own a home. He lives on a small sailboat and pays a relatively low price to rent a slip at a local harbor. He has a classic car that he's thinking about selling, which could net close to $100k, but that would not be a long-term solution. He does some consulting work for a local firm but I don't think it generates much income. He said he is thinking about finding more reliable work.
I am saving up to buy a home. If I start trying to support my dad financially, there is no way I'll ever achieve that. It's just not a sacrifice I am willing to make. My sister is his only other surviving family member and she barely makes enough for herself.
What are his options besides going back to working full-time? What questions should I ask him about his situation? Any help at all is appreciated.
EDIT:
Some additional details:
- He said he receives about $3k per month from social security.
- I live here in San Diego close to him, but my sister lives in NYC. So if he moves away to a cheaper city he'd also be much more isolated.
- Going to meet with him tomorrow and ask for specifics about all of his expenses and sources of income.
EDIT 2:
Some folks are guessing my age based on my dad's age, and assuming I'm close to retirement myself. I'm 29. I have a good job but also lots of debt and not much saved yet. Just wanted to clear that up.
EDIT 3:
I know the post is locked now but wanted to give an update:
Met with him today and it was obvious he really doesn't know how much he is spending. So I asked him to spend the weekend collecting everything so we can have it all laid out. He is going to miss payments on a couple of bills coming up, so I'm going to help him with those, but I told him it's just for this month.
He opened up and said he has kind of a mental block about retirement. He has been avoiding thinking about it for decades just kicking the can down the road because he's afraid. His net worth has been shrinking for awhile but he has been in denial about it and distracting himself with his hobbies and social life. Now that his account is about to go negative he can't ignore it anymore.
All he has right now is a checking account with about $900 in it. No savings, retirement, or brokerage accounts. He is making monthly payments to the IRS, but has no credit cards or any other kind of debt. I think having a good credit card would help him in case of emergencies, so I asked him to sign up for Credit Karma to see what he might qualify for.
He's still mentally sharp and physically healthy so I told him to take advantage of that while it lasts and try and find more clients for his consulting gig (he only works a few hours a week right now) to save more and build up a buffer, as well as charging more for his current client who loves him. He enjoys working so this should be a win-win. Eventually he won't be able to work anymore but for now he can bring in some good money; he still has a lot of connections from his career.
On Monday I'm going to call a local fiduciary and set up a consultation. I think with some not-so-drastic lifestyle adjustments he can live within his means and start rebuilding a safety net.
Other details:
- He's paying $500/mo to the IRS, and estimates his remaining balance is something like $20k.
- He's paying over $300/mo for health insurance from United which seems high. He said it's a Medicare plan but I'm going to find out more about this.
- He's paying almost $300/mo for internet, which is ridiculous. The yacht club he lives at is apparently charging a huge premium for it. Gonna see about getting him switched to a wireless broadband service which should be way cheaper.