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Loyal_to_the_soil OP t1_jaeuent wrote

Reply to comment by mrinkyface in My (26F) long term partner (27M) avoid one another when I’m going through depressive episodes. by Loyal_to_the_soil

It’s really clear that you did not read my entire post and are here to project your own vitriol. I’m not going to bother trying to refute your baseless points.

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mrinkyface t1_jaevpx7 wrote

I did, and none of it suggests that you have gotten serious psychological treatment. Every single one of your problems from past relationships are your problems to solve with the help of a psychologist who can help you move on from your past, find better ways of dealing with the pain they caused, and to stop yourself from making these issue his problem. No matter how you word it or approach this in the post you’re not getting away from the basis of the issue in him pulling away from you which is you making all these things from your past his problem to handle based on your behavior and how you deal with your issues because it’s seemingly unavoidable in the way you described it because you’re letting that past trauma rule your life.

Based on your reply it doesn’t sound like you want to put in the work to be healthy and are just looking for a quick fix, it’s not something that happens over night and it does take time. The only person that can work on that is you, so either you take the time to do it right or he’s going to eventually leave you for someone that is willing to work on making themselves a better person and partner.

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Loyal_to_the_soil OP t1_jaewzpq wrote

Maybe try reading again.

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mrinkyface t1_jaeycmu wrote

I don’t think you’re willing to admit that your trauma and mental instabilities are ruling your life, and because it is ruling your life you do not see that your bf is forced to tolerate it and be an emotional support. It’s a toxic way of living in a relationship, and you not willing to admit that it’s controlling your life and automatically putting unfair expectations and demands on him is pretty much the entire problem. Eventually you will lose him because if it if you do not learn from your mistakes and show progress in getting yourself help from a mental specialist, but until you do he’s always going to be guarded and dismissive because he does not want to invest further into something that’s not showing any growth.

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Loyal_to_the_soil OP t1_jaeykzc wrote

judging from your clearly experiential prejudices and the lengthy assumptions you have made about me regardless of what I actually wrote, I hope you find the help you obviously need.

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mrinkyface t1_jaezn4z wrote

Really seems like you don’t want help, but want support and compliments from others to coddle you into feeling better about yourself without having to do anything to change yourself and work on healing the base problems you have. If that’s what you want then go to r/freecompliments or r/toastme

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