I (22F) was the only one in my husband’s family not invited to my sister in law’s (27F) baby shower. Do I still send the gift I already have or is this a sign she doesn’t want me to be involved and I should keep my distance?

UPDATE: I put this in a comment but I wanted to put it here too so everyone can see.

My husband and I called my BIL (her husband) to find out what happened. My BIL is the pastor of a church and the church decided to throw her a “baby sprinkle” aka a smaller baby shower for the second baby. It is customary where I live for baby showers to only be a first born baby thing and usually only women are invited. So they planned it to be a thing where the ladies of church got together but nothing big or extended family or friends. Her mother passed away and they recently moved so she just wanted to keep things really small and not invite extended family or friends.

Well my BIL told my MIL (his mom) like 2 days ago and she decided to invite herself and the couple other women in my family who all live really close to each other and communicate everyday. I live further away and was out of the loop of daily communication so I didn’t get invited by my MIL.

BTW, my MIL is also her MIL. They get along but are also kinda strained and not super close. Also, there are not a lot of women in my in laws family, they are a small family.

So it turns out that my SIL was not intentionally leaving me out and my MIL just decided to invite herself and other women in my family. Thankfully I wasn’t part of this plan because I would’ve been crashing my SIL’s small party with her church! My husband and I are going to visit a while after the baby is born and give the presents then. Can’t wait to meet my niece!

Thanks for everyone who gave advice!

TLDR: The baby shower was supposed to be a small church thing but my MIL decided to come with the other women in her family.

ORIGINAL POST:

I (22 F) was the only one in my husband’s family not invited to my SIL’s (27) baby shower. Do I still send the gift I already have?

I feel really rejected about this whole situation and just not sure what to do. My SIL invited all of my other in-laws except me to her baby shower. I am confused because there’s never been any conflict or anything like that towards each other, we’ve always gotten along well when we see each other. My relationship with my MIL and FIL has been a bit strained at times because they’re homophobic, racist, and generally rude and it always makes me really uncomfortable. But I always thought my SIL seemed to like me and I’ve tried to be a good aunt to my nephew of hers.

I made her a handmade blanket which I planned to gift at her baby shower, as well as other smaller items like onesies and books. Should I still send these gifts even though she didn’t invite me? Should I acknowledge the posts about it on FB or if my in laws talk about it? Or is this a sign that she doesn’t want a relationship with me and I should keep my distance and just donate the gifts instead?

I feel really bad that I wasn’t invited and just don’t know what it means in terms of how she and my in laws see me. I was really excited to see my new niece in her baby blanket.