Submitted by ThrowRA13685735748 t3_10vf82k in relationship_advice
I have been in this relationship for almost 3 years now, this is my first relationship, and it's her first relationship as well.
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The relationship has had its ups and downs but overall I would say we are much happier to have found each others than we were when we were single.
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We moved in together 7 months ago and while the first few months went smoothly fights have been getting increasingly intense and disturbing. I am a quiet person, I dislike drama and would rather try to talk through it.
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Yesterday evening I was into a game of chess on my PC while she came by and asked several questions. I answered the first couple ones the best I could, third one I told her in a harsh tone that I was busy with my game and would come back to her in 2 minutes. I agree here that I should have had more patience, and been gentler.
A bit later when we go to bed she brings the issue and starts complaining about this, I aplogize then she says "she cannot live like this". I have used a rude tone like this one, she said to me, at least 10 times since we moved in together. I struggle a bit, I am tired I don't really see the point she is trying to make even if I am sorry for the previous incident.
She spent basically the whole night crying, now she wants to sleep in a different bed and we have discussed about breaking up.
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I am really confused, this fits a pattern of what I believe is her escalating into big fights what I view as small things (it's not always about something I did wrong) and I don't feel confident we can talk through it and make progress. On the other hand we have talked about having a kid together but I am not optimistic. If we cannot live peacefully now how can we cope with the chaos a kid would bring?
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Overall though I do feel happier with her than without, most weeks go by without a itch and then it's perfect. What do you think? For people who have broken up what is a threshold that you find reasonnable to break up?