Submitted by ThrowRAemergencyBat t3_10y7pck in relationship_advice
Since a young age, I was highly interested in finances, making money and being successful in general. I would read books about those topics and watch a ton of videos on YouTube. After graduating from high school, I decided to join a private university in Germany and major in international business and marketing. Whilst my parents are doing financially fine because of our family business, they are not rich by any means. Nevertheless, they paid for my education in full and didn't hesitate to do so and support me, something I am genuinely grateful for.
Because the university is private and costly, a big part of the students were children of wealthy people in the city and had expensive cars and clothes (New Mercedes, Gucci, etc.). That made me kind of unhappy, that I wasn't a part of them, but also highly motivated me to do something about my personal financial situation even as a student. At the end of my first semester, I decided to start investing, as I already knew quite a bit about the topic. My plan was to expand my knowledge In a period of six months, and then invest my money that I had saved up by working in our family business.
Six months later, after many books, talks with professors and a lot of research, I still felt a bit uneasy but also capable and decided to pull the trigger and invest. I invested 7k (all my savings) in Tesla stock, this was around the beginning of Covid when the stocks had already plummeted. It was very existing and a special moment for me, but the best part was that shortly after investing that 7k, I started making money from it. The account was growing superfast, and I was on cloud nine.
That's when I decided to talk to my parents and ask them for a loan, so I could invest more money. I prepared a presentation and made everything super professional, as if I was applying for a CEO position and after our talk, they decided to lend me 10k. I accepted the money and put it in my account. Soon after, the money was rising again and they were pleased. Over the next months, my parents gave me 80k in separate installments for me to invest.
After the portfolio grew quite a bit, and the results were solid, we talked one more time, and they offered to give me 115k more (all of their savings). I invested the money.
Here is where the problems start: One of my mentors/ professors from my uni whom I am very close to knew what I was doing and was super proud of me. He would advise me on the topic and guide me through the processes, as he was an investor as well, and a wealthy guy. Early on, he advised me to be careful, as money can change people and the typical stuff you hear from rich guys...to simplify, he wanted me to have guidelines with my parents. Who does what and who gets how much after? Because they are my parents, I never did that. After they gave me the last installment of 115k and this huge responsibility, I started to feel that maybe I should talk to them. We scheduled an appointment, but my dad couldn't come, so my mom and I talked about my concerns. I told her that because I do all the work and the research (which is daily until now) and they provided the financials, we should split 50% for my parents and 50% for me. That's what my mentor advised me and honestly that's what, I felt, was fair too, since it is a lot of work on the daily and very, very stressful. My mom got very uncomfortable, but agreed to it. I told her that I don't want to fight with them in the future, as this was a blessing to the family and me too.
Since then, my account grew to 1.4mil before the Ukraine Russian war and is about 650k right now, slowly recovering.
Last night, things changed. I was at my parent's house, and we were discussing some family stuff and having a good time. My mom decided to drive me home, as my car was at the mechanic. During the drive, she was silent and not very talkative, which she usually is. I asked her if something was wrong, and she answered that all is fine. Literally 5 seconds later she asked me what my plans were with the money, when I decide to sell one day (plan to sell for around 4/5 mil). The moment I started talking about my plans (buying a home, nice car, new investments) she started laughing and telling me how there is no way I will be able to afford this stuff with my part of the money. When I asked her how much she thought I would get, her answer was 100k. I was shocked, but I assumed she was joking, and then she went on this rant of explaining to me how me, my sis and my brother would all get 100k each (my siblings had nothing to do with this and my sis also explicitly refused to be a part of the investing because it is so risky). My hearth dropped, and I felt played because of all this hard work and expectations for *just* this? After all, I am planing to sell at least at 4mil. We got into a fight and I asked her to stop the car and leave me in the middle of nowhere. From there I walked home a few kilometers in the dark and couldn't breathe all the way through. I was mad, sad, hysterical for a moment even...
Besides the fact that this is an accomplishment not many are proud of, and I achieved at such a young age, it has always been my dream to make a lot of money. Now all of that hard work and emotions over years for them to f me over? My mom did agree to splitting the money 50/50 early on, even though my dad was not a part of that conversation. She even guaranteed it. Moreover, there is no way I could ever look them in the eyes if they do that to me. We haven't talked since yesterday and I think a contestation will follow soon, but I don't know what to do...
Do I get a lawyer?? I don't want to sue my parents, but we also do not have a contract. Do I talk to them as an adult and try to understand them and find a resolution? Just swallow it? What do I do?
I can't talk to my mentor, as I feel like I will absolutely disappoint him with my decision to go against his experienced opinion.
Most important for me is my family of course, I don't want to fight with the over money or even lose them but definitely felt stabbed in the hearth yesterday.
Your suggestions are highly appreciated.
TL;DR Made over a million in stocks during covid with my parents, now they don't want to share as promised.