Submitted by ThrowRAlightning t3_10y8oxi in relationship_advice
[reposted from AITA after removal, now with corrections.]
Hello all, I'm fairly new to posting on reddit and I'm on mobile so please forgive any mistakes.
My son [28M] has been married to his high-school sweetheart Olivia [26F] (fake name) for 5 years now. two weeks ago was my son's birthday, he went out of state with some of his community college friends to spend time at a resort. Olivia had chosen to stay in-state as she is heavily pregnant with twins and high risk [7 months]. I told my son to cancel the trip and stay with his wife, but she insisted they go have fun. So, I insisted she stay with me so she can stay in bed and she accepted with some pushing. Now, I love Olivia. she is sweet, respectful, and like a daughter to me. Her own parents were not great, so we bonded easily as she dated my son. We talk daily and see each other often.
After my son got home from his trip, I could tell something was off. he wouldn't accept any drinks I offered him, refused to kiss Olivia instead giving awkward hugs, and was overall incredibly cautious. I asked him over and over why he's acting so strange but he beat around my questions and went home with Olivia. Throughout the following week Olivia would tell me more of my son's odd behavior. He moved into the guest bedroom, refused to eat any of her meals, refused any kind of intimacy, etc. Whenever I spoke to my son about it I got one word awnsers or he would ignore the topic completely.
this week he came to my home in tears, clutching a folder filled with visibly crumpled papers. After calming him down he told me that on his birthday trip his college friends hooked him up with multiple "workers". he never used protection with any of them and didn't think anything of it until he started burning. apparently he contracted 2 "STIs" [Gonorrhea and HPV]. I was blunt in why he was telling me and not his wife pregnant with twins. That's when he begged me not to tell her about his affairs and to let him stay with me while he treated his infections.
I flat out told him NO and that if he wasn't going to tell his wife, I will. He then got angry, shouting and crying saying how I'm going to rip his family apart before it's even started because I refuse to let him have any fun. he accused me of favoring Oliva and wanting to separate him from his children as I did to his own father. (This was not true and another story). I had to call on my neighbor whom I am close witn to help escort my son out of my home. edit: I did find the papers he brought and they were not medical results but instead bank statements.
I'm thinking about how this will hurt Olivia and possibly her twins by telling her and maybe my son is right, so please help me find a way to do this with minimal damage to my dear family.
[TLDR: my son went on a birthday trip with college friends, spent the week hooking up with s-workers. he caught 2 STIs and is saying I'm ruining his family by making him tell her or I will.]
edit: mini update