Submitted by ThrowRAs1k t3_111d00s in relationship_advice
I started this relationship 2 years ago when I was 28. Due to the 1 hour drive we only see each other on the weekends. She has her son M-F and the weekends dad gets her son (7yo). I really only see him on Sunday nights when he gets dropped.
I was always nice to her son. I would play Minecraft and take him out, even went on vacation with her and him a couple of times. But I'm not going to lie I never loved the idea of dealing with him. Despite my attempts at treating him like my own he has proven time and time again that he's just a difficult kid to deal with. I want to keep this post short so I'll spare the details. But the problem is that recently he's been with us every weekend and I'm starting to get a clearer view into my future with her and her son.
I have zero time to myself, there's no sex (haven't had it in over a month), and I find myself hiding in the bathroom just to get a moments peace. I no longer look forward to my weekends I actually look forward to Monday because at least after work I have a few hours to myself for some peace.
I'm starting to realize what my future is looking like and it horrifies me. I tried having a conversation with my girl about it a few times but it always seems to lead to an argument. It's like I have all the responsibilities of a parent, but none of the authority.
I really love my girlfriend and we have such a good relationship outside of her son, but now I think it's time for me to end it.
I just feel completely awful about the whole thing because I knew she was a single mother before I got into this relationship, but I kept ignoring red flags and kept telling myself it would get better, but it hasn't, it just kept getting worse. I feel like I wasted both of our time but i'm just having trouble letting go. Every time I think about ending it I get scared that i'll miss her too much. But deep down I know that I have to. Any advice or anyone else go through this before?
EDIT: thanks everyone, I appreciate all the comments. I just wanted to clarify that the red flags were not her being a mother. Although her parenting style isn't one I endorse completely so I guess that could be a red flag. But I'm just saying I ignored the red flags that involved other aspects of single motherhood that are not exactly her fault. For example, her son's father is a deadbeat and doesn't support their son financially at all so I know that burden would fall on my shoulders completely if we were to stay together. Something I really didn't consider going into it. Should have been obvious I know, but we all make mistakes. I have nothing but love for her and will make an update post once I have the conversation with her. Very soon.
Edit: I finally have an update here: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/11l70r2/i_30m_have_ended_my_relationship_with_a_single/