Submitted by [deleted] t3_114uo6x in relationship_advice
Before explaining, I work in my family business and earn enough to pay for the whole wedding if needed and my parents guaranteed they will pay for half of the wedding and honeymoon. Money is not a problem.
Having said that, her is the problem. I (30M) will marry my fiancee, Julia (29F) next year and we are in the middle of preparations. We have been together for 4 years and already live together in an house my family built from the ground in the last 40 years ( my great grandpa, grandpa, mom, dad, uncles and I all worked on it and it was completed 3 years ago.).
My family and Julia's family are very different: I have one older sister, who currently lives in the USA ( she is married and has a son), both my parents are still alive and my maternal grandparents are still alive ( my grandma will probably bury us all. She is the healthiest 92 years old woman in the world). My father has an older brother, who has 2 daughters, and 2 younger sisters, one single and one married with 2 sons. My mother has 2 brothers, both married. One has a daughter, the other has a son and a daughter.
We are all pretty close and I plan to invite all of them to the wedding. Excluding my family and my best man and his wife, I plan to invite only 2 more people I have been friend with since elementary school. One of them is single, the other is married. Making some rough estimation, the guests on my side will be 25-30.
Julia's family is much smaller: she is an only child and her father is too. Her grandparents passed away and her mother only has 2 sisters and only one is married and has a child. So her family amount to a total of 6 people and her mother and oldest aunt don't particularly get along. She plan to invite her group of friends but even assuming they all come with their partners and children, her guests would be 15 at best.
A couple of weeks ago I came back home from work and found her crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she confessed that her oldest aunt refused to come to the wedding.
She felt sad that I had so many people to invite to the wedding while she barely had anyone. I tried to cheer her up, telling her that the number of guests on both sides is not important and I jokingly said that me having more people to invite simply mean I will have more people to introduce to her and she will have more people to share my embarrassing secrets with. To be sincere I didn't know what I was talking about. I was trying to cheer her up and I was making up things while talking.
It didn't work and few days ago she asked me if I could not invite some of my family members. I said no. They are my family, I love them and wants them there to celebrate the most important day of my life. She got angry, saying I was insensitive for not understanding how she felt.
I know my family: if I excluded some of them, It would be an hard hit. In particular, I know my grandma would be devastated. She went to every single wedding in the family, even to my sister's wedding in the USA ( she is afraid of flying and she went despite that).
TLDR : my fiancee wants me to not invite some of my relatives to our wedding because my family is much larger than hers.
What should I do?