Submitted by ThrowRAspa2279 t3_116509u in relationship_advice
I gave my partner an ultimatum and now he isn’t speaking to me
EDIT - I have broken up with him
Hello. For context we are both 25M and F and have been together for 2 years. When we first started dating he was heavily addicted to marijuiana, like would smoke non stop, we had no real relationship because that was all he did but he told me he wanted to quit. It took us a while but I helped him quit and honestly things have been amazing ever since. He knew my stand on weed and if he ever started up again I would leave. Well now his friend has convinced him to start smoking again, bongs, joints, edibles. It’s not even if they are going out it’s just random times when they are just at home. I was so disappointed because he had finally stepped up but now he has started again. I told him if he starts doing it regularly then I would leave so he can choose me or the weed?
Was this fair, because now we haven’t spoken in days as he states I’m controlling him, but I just said if he started doing it all day everyday like he used to he would need to choose, could I have handed the situation better, looking for any advice please?
EDIT: when we first started seeing eachother I knew he smoked a little bit and I was fine with that because he told me he did it occasionally but we were serious so I couldn’t judge him. Only after I met him did o realise he was going the ounces or weed a week. Well when things turned serious is when he opened up and started that he wanted help to quit so that’s what I did. I didn’t date him with the hopes of changing him, but once he stopped I said and exact words were “ if you were to start smoking again then I would have to leave because I saw how hard it was on you and I can’t help you again “ he’s worked so hard and it was mentally draining watching him go through that and after being in an abusive relationship before him I can’t sit there and watch someone throw their life away or be miserable