Submitted by [deleted] t3_116nm40 in relationship_advice
So, for context, on Valentines Day my wife scheduled a boudoir shoot for the two of us as a fun experience for the two of us. After the shoot, she approached me about starting a couples onlyfans account to which I responded that it would be fun. We have a close friend who does onlyfans and she helped us set up our account and through the approval process. She also let us use her page as a template for our page. I noticed that our “menu” included F/F as a type of content we produce and approached my wife asking if this was something she was interested in doing. She responded that she is completely straight, but that it would probably sell so she wanted to keep it on there and she would be open to it. I told her she has my full permission to be with women as long as she never brings them around our home or our daughter. After learning about her openness, I approached her with the prospect of having a threesome as I think it would be an enjoyable experience and could be good content as well. She was open and accepting of the idea and we discussed our boundaries. Two days later, she wanted to revisit these boundaries and relaxed on our threesome boundaries even more and exclaimed how cool of a wife she is.
So, for the past week, we’ve both been on tinder. I’ve been on a couples account and she has been on a solo-account looking for women. She’s set up a couple of dates with women and has talked about being excited, but nervous about this new experience. She has a date with one today so last night I took her out for dinner so that we could just enjoy each other’s company before this new venture. We talked about these new explorations joyously while driving to the restaurant. While out, I received a message from one of the women that is interested in both of us inviting us out for drinks a couple of days from now so I asked her if she’d like to do that. Immediately, it was like someone had flipped a switch. Immediately she went from being okay with it to saying “we are stopping all of this. It’s getting in the way of our relationship” and was very upset with me. I asked what changed her mind and she just said she was no longer comfortable with it and that going out with a woman made her uncomfortable as well. So, I’m not trying to force anyone to do what they don’t want to do, so I said “okay, but I’d like to have a better conversation and communication in the future.” That didn’t go over well either. I thought after our conversation last night that this was all over, but today she got ready and has left for her date with one of the women she was talking to.
I don’t really care that she is going out with someone, but I just don’t get how discomfort is her reason for not doing something I wanted to try that she was seemingly very open to, but discomfort for her going a date didn’t stop her from doing it. Every time I’ve tried to have a convo with her about it, I get chewed out and yelled at, so I’m lost as to how to approach this situation. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Let me add that what also bothers me about this is that the girl she is going out with has been lied to about everything. I was very transparent with the people interested in both of us, but she has told this girl that we have been separated for 6 months, that she lives alone, etc…
I’m just confused. Help me sort through this.
EDIT: I can't see all of the comments - if I don't reply, feel free to DM me.