Submitted by ThrowRAJenipher2 t3_117sqlr in relationship_advice
My husband and I have been married for 3 years now, but we’ve been together for 11 years. We live in the USA, but he’s German. His mother was diagnosed with cancer last year, and he went back to Germany to be with her. I was pregnant, and our baby is 2 weeks old now.
I love him a lot and I’m trying to be supportive because I know he’s going through a lot right now, but I can’t help but feeling like he abandoned me. I know this is not the literal situation, I know he’s coming back, but that’s how I feel. He’s been in Germany for almost 5 months now, and he plans on staying there until his mother gets better or dies, and we don’t know how long it will take. He works remotely, so he can stay there until he decides to come back. We text and videochat all the time, but it’s not the same as having him here.
I can’t go to Germany to be with him because our daughter is too young to be in a 13-14 hours flight, she doesn’t even have a passport yet, all my support system is here, and I have to go back to my job as soon as my maternity leave ends.
I’m so exhausted, sad and pissed off at this situation that I don’t know what to do, I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable and need to be more understanding, or if I’m right. I don’t know if it would be unfair and selfish of me to ask him to come back.