Submitted by ThrowRA-zxc t3_11906uc in relationship_advice
My wife and I have been married for around 10 years.
She'll frequently give me unsolicited feedback on things, and it's excessively negative. It could be about anything: Pictures I take, food I make, the way I drive, clothes, etc
Excessively negative basically means the frequency and sheer pettiness of the things she complains about.
It feels like to constructive criticism what micromanagement is to a workplace. Instead of inspiring me to improve, I don't want to do anything with her.
I've tried to talk to her about these concerns before, but it seems to go nowhere. We avoid instead of addressing and working on fixing the underlying issue.
For this and other reasons, I've already checked out. But we have two young kids together (7 and 10). I don't want her negativity to impact our children's development (one example: My wife chooses what clothes for them to wear. If not, she always complains about what they choose themselves. I get this gut feeling it's already causing them issues (they hesitate, lack confidence, etc) with getting dressed. It seems unhealthy to me).
I'm not sure how to talk to her about it because I think this is totally normal to her. My wife's parents, for example, are extremely critical people themselves. I guess she must get it from them?