Submitted by anony123212321 t3_1190ed3 in relationship_advice
Sorry this is long ...
I (26F) had a bit of a falling out with my dad (59M) and step mom (40sF) recently. I asked to have my husband (26M) and I (26F) come over to talk with them about this 3 page email they sent telling us how bad we were acting towards them. I agreed with one thing they said but there were many things on their list I had no idea they wanted and felt it wasn't fair to tell me I was doing something that was never communicated to me. I wanted to sort out the letter and come to some sort of understanding.
Well apparently because I knocked on his door and didn't just walk in like normal (I was trying to be respectful given the current climate of the relationship), he told me later they were immediately defensive and that very much showed. It truly felt like I was talking to a brick wall with them two. They couldn't agree with a single thing I tried to say or explain. Everything I said was wrong, twisting their words (instead of just misunderstanding their words and trying to explain what they meant), or just made no sense to them. They couldn't even answer the first opening question which was "what did we do from this list you sent us?" Because they sent it to 3 other people and I wanted to be clear on what I should be trying to explain. Their response was that we should know what we did...🙃
Once I saw the conversation was going nowhere with them and I was getting really frustrated and about to cry (I'm very pregnant), I stood up and told my husband that we should leave. I told my dad this is always what happens, you never care about what I have to say (there's been a history of the exact reaction I was given by them) and I put my shoes on and left. Well once I got outside, I began crying and complaining to my husband saying see I told you this shit would happen. I said fuck this shit. And got in the car and went home.
Well now a week or so later my dad came over to my house this time to talk just the two of us about the state of things and he tells me I told him "fuck this and fuck that" and I responded "no, I definitely never said that to him" and he says he's got it on his ring camera. Well he has cameras in his house so I thought that's what he meant. But no, he meant when I was outside having my own private conversation with my husband and letting out my feelings that had built up in their house. I didn't realize until after my dad left and I was telling my husband about the conversation that it dawned on me that he meant the outside camera. I really had no idea he had one or I probably would've held it till I got to the car. I didn't notice it. So my dad was trying to hold things I said outside of his home against me and I don't know what to do about it. I would never cuss at my parents out of just engrained respect for them (even though my dad has shown very little respect for me the last couple months) and I didn't.