Submitted by boongaoutdafront t3_119a18i in relationship_advice
So there's this 4 day long camping festival that many of my friends are going to in a couple of weeks that I would love to go too. It's short notice because long story short I'm on the waiting list for a new job and thought I'd be starting by now, I never got a ticket because I didn't think I'd still be waiting. Now that its a couple of weeks beforehand and I haven't gotten the call I figured I can go.
My girlfriend can't go because she is working, if she wasn't I would love for her to be there.
I expressed to her that I'm thinking of going and if she's okay with it. She got very emotional and said she's not comfortable with me going to a festival as they'll be drugs and other typical shenanigans. I expressed that I'm a responsible adult but she escalates it to the point of breaking up with me if I decide to go.
I said I can understand that some people would get worried about their partner going to a festival, but I said please can you explain why you're worried and why it's such a big deal. I said I would keep in contact with her and try make her as comfortable as possible.
She basically came back saying it makes her uncomfortable and that should be enough for me not to go. Shes made it a decision between her and the festival and said if I love her I wouldn't go and make her uncomfortable. I've tried to get her to say exactly why it makes her uncomfortable, she said it's because of me being away from multiple days, with the potential of having drugs and whatever else can happen at festivals. I'm a responsible person though and not one to abuse drugs, I've also never been unfaithful and expressed she should not worry about that too.
She has argued I should want to spend the time with her, and that someone who's in love wouldn't want to go without their partner.
I've expressed that I love her and would love for her to be there, but I don't feel comfortable with how she's made it a decision between her and this festival. I said I wish she would just be accepting and trust me to have a good time, we spend heaps of time together already and I've been very supportive of her with her own recent new job and life stuff. I said this would be my last chance to go before this new job takes up my life.
Reddit, whats your thoughts on this? Obviously this relationship is more important than going to one festival, but I hate that she's given me an ultimatum like this in the first place. I feel like it takes away from my own freedom and independence. When I've expressed this to her she's gotten very emotional and stuck by that if I love her I shouldn't go. I don't want to end things over going to a festival, but she's also not budging from her stance and accepting my point of view.
TL:DR: I want to go a festival, girlfriend doesn't want me too, has given me an ultimatum that if I go she's breaking up with me.