Submitted by ThrowRA7767r t3_11dbn25 in relationship_advice
My wife has been a stay at home mom for the past 14 years. She went back to work last year 2022. At the beginning of this year 2023 she decided to reduce her hours and I said fine do whatever you need to do. Well she reduced her hours to 0. Last I checked 0 hours meant that you quit your job but what do I know. She tells me she has a job. At the same time my wife decided to diagnose herself with de pession. Not depression but de pession she refuses to even say it right. She also decides to completely stop driving due to her anxiety.
So to say I was blindsided was an understatement. We did the couples counseling for a few years prior to COVID and things were good. Now when I say you might want to get back into therapy she made it clear it doesn’t work. And that I need therapy since I’m an asshole.
In the middle of all this she made it clear that I didn’t do anything at home and that I need to step up at home. Well I was working from home but since COVID is now over I am back in the office and out of the house 10-12 hours a day. I find it hard to do laundry or take the kids to school from my desk. I also do not have the privilege of getting the kids on the bus at 8 am and be home to get them off the bus at 3.
I made it clear I can support the morning but not the afternoon and I found out she wants me home both sides now.
So yeah. My wife has anxiety stopping her from driving. She has depression she refuses to get help for. She has a job that she now works 0 hours a week and somehow I need to do more work at home to make her happy.
I really tried to talk to her about this but she just choses to change the subject to how her job is harder than yours and men don’t do enough for her around the house.
I even got forced to do all the food shopping since she won’t leave the house. So I go to Walmart twice a week and it is 5 minutes from the house. I drive the kids to all the programs she signed them up for and I cook dinner 4 nights a week.
I feel taken advantage of by someone who doesn’t understand that doing laundry twice a week isn’t a 30k a year job. Yes she puts the kids on the bus but now that she reduced her hours to 0 I get told she has a job and takes care of the house and kids on her own.
So can I forcibly get her to get a different job? This entire I can’t drive with anxiety but help does not help is driving me mad. Honestly I’m ready to make my job 0 hours since work keeps getting in the way of everything I need to do at the house.
Unfortunately my kids like food and my wife loves the internet so if I quit the merry go round stops.