Submitted by TheBlackCowboyHat77 t3_11ga3yg in relationship_advice
(Edit: Thank you so much, everyone, for your advice for us to seek therapy together and talk about it more. I really needed some advice before I truly confronted her with how it was making me feel. We have since cried, laughed together, and made love. We decided that it truly is best we wait a bit longer to have kids and go through with the abortion. Tbh, I think this has brought us so much closer already. I can not thank everyone enough who has been positive in guiding me to talk with her more. Sometimes, I'm hard-headed and don't want her to have to know how I feel cause I don't want her more upset, but it was definitely needed this time. I can not thank you all enough)
So today, my girlfriend (23F) and I (27M) found out she was 8 weeks pregnant at her doctors appointment for her gallbladder issues. She is religious about her birth control (pills) and but of course, nothing is 100%. We have talked a lot about this before just in casual conversation, so we both already knew abortion was the option immediately. We have a very healthy relationship and the best relationship I've ever had. (going on 3 years in a couple of weeks) With all that being said, I kinda really wanna keep it. Her health is not great atm and she needs some serious surgeries soon regarding her gastrointestinal system. Also, I'm in the middle of changing careers, and we are both back in school, and we already have a lot of financial obligations that would make it very unwise to keep it. But deep down, it does really bother me we are getting rid of it. I've been a step daddy before in a past relationship and love kids, and I've always dreamed of the day to have my own child. This really hurts, and I'm doing my best to be strong for her to be by her side through all of this, but I'm dying inside. I had to step away cause I was shaking after we got back home, and I didn't want her to know it bothers me. I know a part of her wants to keep it, and it bothers her, too, and she cried for a bit, but she's already pretty dead set on the abortion. I know she would keep it if I asked her too, but I would never. What would be the best way to cope with this? We are also keeping this a secret until afterward. All I can think about is telling mine and her family's and wanting to be excited and take care of her every need. This is so stressful, but I know it's for the best. It's really not wise, especially with all her health complications atm to keep it. I'm not really sure what advice I'm looking for, but this really breaks my heart, and I'm not sure what to do.