Submitted by ThrowRAGrey t3_11hvkqb in relationship_advice
I need some advice because I don’t really know what to do/if I’m being the asshole…
We’ve been together for 6 years and the first 4 or 5 years were great. Over the last year or so she’s become bitter for lack of a better word.
It’s gradually got worse, but the general vibe is that she doesn’t want to be together anymore. She gives me dirty looks, she sleeps in another room, she won’t let me touch her even for a hug, she tells me to shut up when I speak, she declines any dates or activities together but always goes out with friends, the list goes on.
Ive tried so hard to make things better. I’ve sat her down three times and explained that I’m not happy with the way things are, and each time I’ve done this things have improved for a week or two and she’s promised to be better and it’s back to our normal relationship for a short while before going back to not being good.
A few weeks ago I snapped. She threw me one of her dirty looks and I couldn’t take it anymore and I said I’m done. I said I’ve tried to make this better and it’s clearly not worked so we’re over and I want you to move out. She cried and said nothing and left to stay at her parent’s house.
Around a week later she messaged and asked if we could talk so I agreed. We met in a neutral location and she said she’s unhappy at work, her contraceptive pill is changing her moods, she needs help and she doesn’t want to lose me. Of course I agreed to help her through this and said I want to make it work and I’d do anything to help. We agreed that she would stay with her parents and we’d take it very slow.
A few days later she started messaging me things like her family are really angry at me, I need to make this up to her by buying her flowers, I need to take her on dates, her dad wants to “have a chat” with me, her brother doesn’t want her to get back together with me, generally messaging me things that imply I have a lot of making up to do and that her family and friends hate me and that I’m the one that’s fucked up. I have no idea what she has told them has happened between us.
I feel like this has made me resent her even more… I feel like the entire reason our relationship ended was because of the way she was acting around me. It’s honestly made me not want to make things right with her even more and just give up on the relationship.
Am I an asshole for being annoyed at this? Should I be the one that’s making this all better?