Submitted by ThrowRA98712q t3_11j1ma7 in relationship_advice
I recently decided my marriage feels like a lie. A number of years ago our youngest child entered in kindergarten. The child is now in grad 5. My wife and I have several kids and the whole time. My wife has made it clear when the youngest is in kindergarten she will go back to work. Well, I’ve decided that’s a total lie. My wife waited until the youngest was in third grade to start working part time. She quit within six months later because it wasn’t fulfilling and didn’t pay enough. During this time, my wife has made it clear I don’t do enough. Both around the house and for her. So no matter what I do it is not the correct something. When she was working I would come home and clean just for her to say how I did it wrong and now she has to redo everything. She could not tell me what I did wrong but only that it was wrong.
About a year ago I got a 3 percent raise which is 3 times more than I ever got with out changing job. Her response “that’s it”. Seriously when I spend multiple years with pay freezes unless I’m working a new job. She says that’s it. I really don’t know what I’m supposed to do.
About a month ago my work made it clear. I need to start working mandatory overtime. Not just me the entire shop from the janitor to HR. So the entire shop now works 60 hours a week. The best past is they still pay us for 40 hours and give us the other 20 in comp time. Good luck with trying to get a chance to use it. So far no one has gotten a chance. So I got about 80 hours of time off I never get to use now.
When I called my wife who is at home at the time, she screamed at me that I woke her from her nap. It turns out she takes a nap every day at 1 o’clock. A few nights ago my wife made it clear I don’t do enough around the house and that’s why she’s acting the way she is.
For a list of both work and Home related reasons I quit my job last week.
The amazing thing as everyone who told me how things will get better when I do more around the house right now telling me what an asshole I am for arbitrarily quitting my job.
Everyone of these people, including my own mother, made it clear it’s OK for her to quit and find herself. Well, she hasn’t found herself yet. It has been several years. And somehow it’s all my fault. but I am somehow supposed to get my job back to keep the bills paid. I said no. It is my turn to find myself and get a job I love and fulfill my needs.
So what did I do wrong? I followed the directions and rules my wife was told to follow and somehow I have different rules?? She keeps threaten divorce if I don’t go back to work and right now I think I’m gonna have a divorce no matter what I do.