Submitted by ThrowRahungry702 t3_11we8x1 in relationship_advice
I really need help here I’ve been driving myself crazy these past few days. For context I live with my best friend and my boyfriend and I started dating only a month ago, but we both believe in heavy monogamy, which is one of the things that most attracted me to him at first.
Now to the story. My boyfriend and I were out celebrating St Patrick’s day when I got a phone call from my roommate, I’ll call her Jen(20F) for privacy purposes. Her cat was on her death bed out of nowhere and I rushed home to be with her. My boyfriend tagged along and we rushed Jens cat to the vet. We ended up having to put her down and her and I were both in tears. Out of no where my boyfriend, let’s call him John, bursts out into loud sobbing and starts leaning and hugging on Jen. They’ve never really talked before this, just small talk in passing at the house. The whole night he was holding her, rubbing her leg, crying, hugging her tight and even kissed her forehead once. I pushed my feelings past for the night as I honestly felt ashamed for being upset while my best friend was going through such a loss. My boyfriend isn’t an emotional person, and there’s been a time before I really needed him and he wasn’t there for me at all, but that’s beside the point. I felt very uncomfortable with how he was acting but I’ve had jealousy problems in the past and don’t know if that’s just me overthinking things. I talked to Jen the next day about everything I felt and she agreed it felt very weird but didn’t want to have taken his comfort the wrong way so didn’t say anything. I tried talking to him and he said he’s sorry but doesn’t see why him being comforting should upsetting me so much. I know if we are to move past this, I need to be able to forgive him, but I don’t know if I can. I keep replaying him and her over and over in my head and I’ve been so depressed these past few days. It really hurt to see him do that. I don’t want to let him go as he’s been amazing in every other way and we are so compatible in every way. I just don’t know if there will ever be a time this won’t be in the back of my head.
Please give me advice, I need help, I’m driving myself crazy here.