Submitted by ThrowRA0922m t3_11x2efu in relationship_advice
So yeah, basically the title.
I caught him lying about why he was flying out of town. Come to find out, it was to see a woman he dated in college.
Throughout our 4 year relationship (married for three) I have caught him talking to her on several different occasions. Either on social media or on the phone.
In the beginning, she was very unreceptive of his advances and even told him to stop contacting her if he wasn't going to leave me. Thanks, i guess?
Initially she seemed to keep it fairly platonic (I snooped on his ipad and read their messages), which hurt even more knowing that he was the one initiating the conversation.
We talked about it, and I told him that if he continues his behavior, I am leaving.
He promised that he would stop and blocked her on everything. That was two years ago.
I should mention, he has mentioned being unhappy in the past and we have even discussed divorce, but as someone who comes from a single parent household, I am dedicated to this marriage and I want to make it work.
He agreed to try therapy and marriage counseling and we had been doing alright - up until the beginning of this year when he flew out of town on a whim.
When I approached him about it, he came clean immediately and told me that he has no intention of ending communication with her and is still very much interested in separation. So much for therapy.
Last month, on Valentine's Day, I found out that the weekend earlier, he'd flown her to our city and spent time with her. That was the last straw. It broke my heart and I moved out, leaving my rings on the kitchen table. I have never felt more disrespected.
Here is the thing though - since I've been staying at a friend's house, he has made every attempt to salvage our marriage. He says he's blocked her on all social media accounts as well as blocking her number. I want to believe him because I do truly love him, but I don't know if I will ever fully trust him again, or if we will ever get back to how we were before all of this happened.
I don't know what to do? Thankfully, we don't have children but just bought a house together (in September) and have a small business that we run.