Submitted by cinderellaman27 t3_11ynmt5 in relationship_advice
I proposed to my longtime gf about a year ago and our wedding is coming up at the end of next month. She started a new job 2 months ago and since she’s started this new job there has been a noticeable change in her mood. She’s introverted and shy when meeting new people but will get comfortable once she gets to know them. Over the course of a month she’s meeting new people in other departments everyday trying to be as friendly as possible as she’s excited about this new job and very optimistic about how it’s going. She tells me about Chris and how he’s into anime as she is and they talked about his experience working there and how funny he is.
A few weeks after she meets Chris she texts me at the end day to tell me she has something to tell me and she’s very sorry about it. After apologizing a few more time she finally confesses she has a crush on Chris. She explains that when she bumped into him today she notice she was excited to see him and she actually had butterflies while they talked and felt her mood be uplifted for the rest of the day. She thought about it and came to the conclusion that she had crush on him and decide that she should talk to me about it. She tells me it’s the first time she’s felt like this since we started dated and before me only one other person had caused this in her.
I responded by thanking her for her honesty and happy she told me as it makes me feel like she cares about how I might feel about it. I went to into a bit of a rant explaining that it’s natural to have crushes and as long as she isn’t acting on them or crossing boundaries then it will be fine and the crush will sizzle out, basically no harm no foul.
She has asked about how best to handle this situation and she suggested to cut off all contact and avoid him. I responded by telling her that may be an over reaction and she shouldn’t avoid him just respect boundaries and at this point not accept any invitations to go out and do things as that could lead to trouble and we left it at that.
Is there anything else I should be saying or asking about? Did I handle it correctly? If this crush doesn’t fizzle out what steps should she or I take to resolve it? Basically asking for any advice or comments on how to best handle this situation.
TLDR: Fiancé confessed to crush on her co-worker, we talked and there was no harm done no foul done. Asking for advice on how to best handle this situation.