Submitted by ThrowRA_Frangipani t3_12099x1 in relationship_advice
I have never posted on reddit before. I’m sorry if I do something wrong. English is not my first language. My husband and I are in our early 70s. Our son is in his 30s.
My husband and I moved to this country more than 30 years ago when my younger son was an infant. We went through so much to give our son a good life. My son was such a sweet and precious child, but as he got older he seemed angry a lot of the time. He went to college and came back a different person who no longer shares our values. He and his father fought mostly about politics. They are both passionate people. They would fight and then my son wouldn’t talk to his father for months. Once we were supposed to travel to visit him and meet his new girlfriend (now his wife) but I must have said something to offend him and he uninvited us. I was very hurt by this. His heart bleeds for everyone but his own mother.
He never speaks to us anymore. They live across the country and I haven’t seen him in years. His wife will sometimes send us pictures and gifts but it isn’t the same as talking to my son. We used to talk every day. And then over the holidays we saw on Facebook that they were visiting her parents. They were having fun just an hour away from us and didn’t even tell us that they were in or state. They flew right past us without even thinking of us. Can it really be that her parents are so much better than us? We were devastated. I asked her why my son wouldn’t visit us his own parents who love him and she sent me a long message saying how angry they are at my husband. I couldn’t even read all of it. My husband worked so hard to give us a good life and I feel like my son is so ungrateful and holding grudges.
Now my daughter-in-law is pregnant. My husband and I already love our baby grandchild and we thought that we could all finally be a happy family like before. But when my husband wished my son a happy birthday last month they fought again and now my son and his wife aren’t speaking to us at all. We asked them to forgive us for anything we did that hurt them but they just hold grudges. It has been weeks and I don’t know how the baby is doing. My husband says he feels used and it breaks our heart to see what a hateful person our son has become. Like we failed as parents. I don’t understand how someone can just throw his own parents away.
We are old and I think I will die without meeting my new granddaughter. I feel very embarrassed asking for advice but I want to bring my family back together. I don’t know what else to do. I am thankful for any help. Thank you for listening.
TLDR I miss my dear son and I fear I will never get to meet my grandchild. I hope someone here can help me.