Relationship advise urgently needed

Submitted by lkkwus74 t3_yig5qe in relationship_advice

Hey all ,

So this is my situation , my relationship has been strained for years and full of stress. I can say I was to blame in the relationship to put my other half under all this stress . Lies , cheating to be the main thing .

So about a year ago I came clean and have strived wholeheartedly to work towards giving what my family needs but obviosuly during this time there was more life stress involved .... My other half did tell me about 6 months ago she will give it another shot but today she told me she couldn't forget what happened and can't carry on this relationship . I know what I did was my fault and have tried the past year to make up for what I did .

I totally understand why she's saying what she did but is there a way to save this or what else can I do besides trying my best the past year ? Or is it dead ? Does she still love me ? Maybe a break from each other would help ? Honestly at this point everyone is really exhausted and I feel like giving up . Thanks for any advice as I really need it .

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desecrated_throne t1_iuihsdd wrote

If she's unwilling to continue trying, there isn't much you can do. You cannot force her to stay with you just because you believe you can change and "fix" things. Focus on yourself for a while; figure out what drove you to cheat and lie and work on healing from the cause so you never hurt a partner in that way again. Move on and take care of yourself.

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lkkwus74 OP t1_iuii55c wrote

Thank you . So what do I do ? Do I just avoid her completely ? She still tries to keep in contact with me by messing and calling

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desecrated_throne t1_iuj82bx wrote

I would recommend expressing to her that you're not able to continue contact for the time being and if she isn't willing to keep trying you'll need space from her to sort your feelings. You can set a time frame for no contact and step back to focus on yourself, and if she refuses to respect your space you may need to block her temporarily.

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lkkwus74 OP t1_iuj8c31 wrote

didn't really expect this answer . Is there a reason why I should do this ? Is it to give her space to heal ? After all she's feeling the way she feels bcos of me .

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