Submitted by Logical_Ad9536 t3_yiai2i in relationship_advice
Hi there, I’m (19F) going to try and summarise as quickly as possible so it’s not too long of a read. So since the beginning with my bf (21M) it’s been very rocky, not a lot of people have liked us together and have believed I wasn’t good enough girlfriend for him, that I was “controlling” and “manipulative” but if only they knew the truth… we have had multiple arguments over him lying even over the smallest of things, in which he says is him trying to protect me supposedly as he knows the truth will hurt me. (If it’ll hurt me, why do it?) these include situations with other girls, keeping in contact with exs and then lying about doing so when I know differently, situations like that etc… but never cheating of any sorts. However, lately he has become much worse. He screams at me in my face if I say something he doesn’t like or doesn’t want to hear and says he’s sorry he’s just “stressed” and will “never do it again” but always does. He’s physically violent by throwing things, slamming doors but never towards me, until last night. I tried leaving this relationship and breaking up with him but he blocked the door while I was having a panic attack so I could not leave and was begging me to stay. When I tried unlocking the door behind him he grabbed my wrist and I believe it is sprained, he started crying saying he didn’t mean to hurt me and he just didn’t want me to leave but I just can’t get over it. Intentional or not he hurt me. As much as I love him, I can’t lie that as much happiness he has brought into my life, he has also brought a lot of sadness and my mental health has never been so worse. I have become terribly anxious and paranoid, i dissociate, I am so depressed and feel trapped. I want to leave but I also don’t as I love him and despite all the bad things he’s done, he buys me a lot of things and has been there for me when I’ve been poorly or mentally unwell. An additional thing I’ll say is his parents have bullied me a lot and caused me a lot of struggle too but he keeps pulling me through this hoping that they’ll “change their mind” but I don’t think I can keep going through all this just because he cant stand up to his parents due to the fear of losing them. He’s so scared of losing them but it feels like he’ll take out everything on me without worrying about losing me. Any opinions please? It’d be nice to get some perspectives as I feel like I’m going crazy.
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