Submitted by stitruoyemwohsesaelp t3_xu7lhy in relationship_advice
I know that a man talking about a woman’s weight almost always makes him the villain but please hear me out.
In June my wife had a tummy tuck, 360 degree lipo, lipo on her thighs and fat transfer to her breasts and hip dips. I fully supported her choice to have the surgery even though I didn’t think she needed it. She wanted it and I want her to be happy so I have two thumbs up. I have always been a huge fan of my wife’s body and she has always been a very beautiful woman with a large bust and bottom. The surgery cost an ungodly amount of money and left her bedridden and in pain for the entire summer. Before the surgery she weighed around 165 and she stands 5’9”
Now, three months after the surgery she is no longer in pain and has no restrictions on what she can do. She weighed herself today and she is at 189. Much of the contouring and flattening of the surgery has been undone.
The issue is this: my wife is extremely frugal. She agonizes over every dime she spends and feels guilty for it. It took her ten years to talk herself into spending the money on the surgery. I think the weight gain and the loss of her post operative figure is sending her into a spiral of anxiety and depression.
Twice I have gently tried to talk to her about it after she brought it up but both times she immediately became furious with me and we had the two worst fights in our 19 years marriage.
She said that she will not talk about the topic without a counselor present but every marriage counselor I have called isn’t talking new couples so we are in several waiting lists of unknown lengths.
I am so lost and I hate seeing her suffer, I have no idea what to do.