Submitted by Laniekea t3_xups98 in relationship_advice
https://youtube.com/shorts/iJobOpBce3Y?feature=share
My husband has been struggling with my ADHD (innatentive type) because I often tune him out.
He sent me this video this morning with no context. And the guys views on ADHD are just like.... flat out wrong. I feel like I've been around this Merry-Go-Round a few times before. It just won't sink in with him that it's actually something I can't fix. Sometimes he sees me hyper fixate, and sometimes he sees me completely tune people out and so he doesn't understand why I can't always hyper fixate on every conversation.
I had incredible parents, and he has a great relationship with my parents, so there's just no truth to this video and there's really no reason he would believe there's truth to this video in regards to me other than that he wants to.
What else can I do to get it through to him that it's like real?
Update:
So he came home and... well.... it could have gone better... But it also could have gone worse... Apparently one of our mutual friends sent him the video and he thought it was interesting so he wanted to share it. The ensuing conversation went kind of like:
Me: "I often have a hard time focusing on a conversation in a restaurant because there's so many distractions."
Him: "Yeah when I can't hear people in a loud place, I just give up on the conversation."
Me: "Sometimes I hyper focus, but I can't always turn that on. It's not a choice"
Him: "yeah, sometimes at work I just get really into what I'm focusing on and tune everybody else out"
Me: "It's not really a behavioral choice"
Him: "sometimes behaviors are just trained in, it doesn't mean you can just change it easily"
Me: visibly disheartened
Also him: "maybe a good compromise is whenever you go on a thought tangent you just share it with me, because I really love hearing about them"