Submitted by throwamari t3_xv7wl4 in relationship_advice
I (24/F) got in a bad car accident 3 weeks ago and I was put on crutches indefinitely. Because of this I’ve unfortunately become my family’s main focus. I live with my parents and 3 brothers and I am constantly babied or assisted by them. And while having food brought to you and being treated like a princess sounds nice; it’s a lot worse than it sounds. The worst of it all would be the bathing part of it.
Now our bathroom is kind of made in a way that the tub is connected to the wall which means you have to reach your leg over to get in. It’s a little flat to where you can sit on it but if you take a shower it’d be wet so you probably want it closed or you’ll slip off. Since one person used to frequent our bathroom at a time it’s also a clear view of everything. But for me, I mainly just bathe rather than shower.
Now the first week, my parents took off to help me after the accident. But eventually I started to feel more confident and assumed I didn’t need my mothers help to take a bath myself. So I ran some water and tried to step over slowly as possible and immediately I felt the sharpest pain ever, slipped, and hit my head in the tub. I was honestly pretty dazed but before I knew it my family had burst into the bathroom and my dad was already lifting me out of the tub. I wasn’t drowning or anything because I just started the water but they immediately took me to the ER.
And even though I was fine, after that incident, my parents refused to let me do things unsupervised like get in the bath myself. And because they’re usually working, after that first week… the responsibility went to my 3 brothers. And my sanity hasn’t been the same ever since.
The problem is well… I hate the fact that my brothers constantly see me naked now. The process is usually, whenever I need a bath I’ll call for any of them to help. Once we get to the tub I have to undress and then they help me safely sit in the tub. Then when I finish cleaning myself I’ll call again and one of them helps me get up and out of the tub. Then either… help me get dressed or stay there to make sure I don’t fall again. And I can’t help but feel extremely aware and embarrassed about everything.
> Side tangent or tmi about my brothers
What annoys me most is that they aren’t stone-faced while they do it either. Each of my brothers do things their own way in a way. My little brother (20/M) is usually the one that helps me get dressed. Sometimes that goes from handing me my clothes or co-putting them on me. I can’t really tell what he’s thinking but he’s really supportive. He usually helps me like he’s my mom in a way.
My brother my age (25/M) can’t look at me without looking away constantly. I can tell just how super uncomfortable he is usually. He puts my clothes at a high enough place for me to easily grab then turns his back till I’m finished saying, “Just yell if you feel you’re going to fall” which ironically happened once. And he did catch me but I thought he was going to drop me, and as soon as he caught me my breast went into his chest and he immediately recoiled.
My older brother however (27/M) annoys the shit out of me. He doesn’t look at my body but looks me directly in the eyes… and I’m naked so this makes me literally unable to think properly. I can’t look him in the eyes like this so I constantly look anywhere else and he notices this and makes snarky comments like, “I’ve helped you so and so many times why are you so red?” Which makes me want to just talk shit back. Sometimes he doesn’t even immediately leave when I’m in the tub. We'll just continue our back to back argument. And also what annoys me is he doesn’t help me step and sit in the tub, he will princess carry me. Which is so uugghhh. He doesn’t help me with my clothes but he does keep eye contact while I’m changing due to us still usually arguing. He even throws my clothes at me at times and it’s just gragshh. Just thinking about him right now has me heated.
> skip here to past the who cares portion
The thing about being overly aware of everything is. I’m short and skinny but not exactly petite, so I have curves and constantly think about them having a full view of it. I honestly don’t know how to get over this… and there’s still no real answer to when I’ll be able to walk on my own again. I even tried to not take baths for a few days; but the fact that I need help to do so, my brothers know that I’m not. While they help, siblings are siblings and love to tease you about anything. And on top of that my mother will sometimes mention that my room is a bit… when she notices me not bathing.
I feel so very insecure about my own body, even the clothes I sleep in. I never had the reason to care about it so much until now. I honestly don’t know why I made this post either. I want help to know if I can make things easier but at this point it’s all just for my safety. I wanted to also get it off my chest but I feel like ranting only makes me want to find a way to get over it more. I feel trapped in this endless thought process of feeling insecure, wondering how I can stop it, then never doing anything and restarting the process. Is there even anything I can do in this situation?
TL;DR I got in a bad car accident and was indefinitely put on crutches. Because of this my brothers have to take care of me because our parents are working. The main thing that bugs me though is that they also have to help me get in and out of the bath as well as let me change in and out of my clothes. This makes me lose my sanity for many reasons. As well as constantly feeling insecure about myself. I don’t know if I should just let it be or if there’s something I could do to make it less embarrassing. I feel like I just needed to rant but that just makes me want to fix it even more.