Submitted by IckedOut t3_y0rat9 in relationship_advice
This is my first relationship so I’m not sure how to approach this, but my boyfriend’s hands disgust me.
He doesn’t really wash his hands after using the bathroom. He gets a pump of soap, turns the facet on for like a second, slaps the water, then turns it off. This is for #1 AND #2.
I know this because my bathroom is connected to my bedroom and my sink is in my bedroom, think like a vanity area.
I feel like it should be obvious that that’s not really washing your hands. But it gets worse. It turns out this guy hates bugs. Like really hates them. So he kills them. With his hands.
I kid you not, we were at his friend’s house and a fly was heading towards him, so he reached out and crushed it and wiped his hand on his friend’s couch. They must have seen my face because they all laughed and just said “oh yeah, he does that.”
I was horrified! He apologized and laughed it off, but still didn’t wash his hands even then!
Those hands have been inside me. Mouth and vag. Shortly after I started sleeping with him I got my very first UTI, apparently from E. coli. Yeah that’s adding up now. This makes me want to avoid intimacy with him.
As a germaphobe, I always swore to myself shit like this would be a dealbreaker. But even though it’s a new relationship, we click so well so far. Similar world views and goals, plus he’s empathetic, intelligent, and ambitious.
But goddammit his hand hygiene grosses me out. I genuinely think if I asked him to, he would do better at this. But how do I bring this up without insulting him?
TL;DR: how do I gently tell this man to wash his damn hands?
Edit: I’m very concerned about the sex education of those who claim you can’t get E. coli / UTI’s from someone’s hands.