Submitted by throwRAfbex t3_y2http in relationship_advice
I am 34F, my husband is 35 and ex-SIL is 24F.
I’ve always thought that when you’re married, that you should always be a united front/team. Whenever I’ve disagreed with my husband I’ve always talked with him about it PRIVATELY, not in front of other people. Apparently my husband doesn’t feel the same way, since I guess after almost a decade of marriage he doesn’t think he needs to take my side on things.
It was my father in law’s birthday and we were all going to go out to dinner. We meet at my in-law’s house and it’s me and my husband, our two kids, my in-laws, my MIL’s sister, and my husband’s ex-sister in law. We were one over so we had to take two cars.
My inlaws and MIL sister said they didn’t feel comfortable to drive at night, so my husband suggested that him and I both drive. I wasn’t super stoked on the idea, so I asked if exSIL could drive. She said she didn’t have her car, I said she could use mine or our inlaws. She said no again but wasn’t giving an answer why, so I was just asking why-I wasn’t accusing her of being a bad person for trying to drive or trying to pressure her I was just wondering IF there was a reason (I mean, my inlaws had JUST said why they didn’t want to drive so I didn’t think the question was overstepping) that we could possibly find a solution for to make the situation work out. But before she could say anything my husband literally SNAPPED at me, in front of EVERYONE, “Jesus Christ just f***ing drop it already, okay?” I was literally stunned so I was like “Umm…what did you say?” and he was like “I said drop it, she’s not driving just accept that.”
I thought it was so disrespectful to speak to me like this in front of everyone, and that there were a THOUSAND other ways he could have said something without being SO disrespectful about it. To top it off, he had an attitude with me after that, barely spoke to me and when we sat down at the restaurant he sat away from me. It’s all so immature and I know this is more of a vent than anything but I guess I just want some validation because even now that we’re at home he’s making it out like I’m the bad guy and he did absolutely nothing wrong. I’ve tried telling him that even if he had an issue with what I was saying he shouldn’t have spoken to me like that, and that he made it a thousand times worse by SNAPPING at me like that on the behalf of ANOTHER WOMAN, then he IGNORED me all night (but spoke to EVERYONE ELSE including her).
I feel so disrespected and frustrated.
Edit Idk why y’all think the reason she doesn’t want to drive is bc of my BIL’s car accident she’s been driving fine since then