Submitted by dark-bluehoneymoon t3_y8g7r2 in relationship_advice
My brother is 27. He’s depressed and unemployed. I love my brother because he’s been through some things and we had the same shitty parents. He’s living off me, he has a monthly travel pass I pay to encourage him to get out more. A few subscription passes, coffee subscription so he’s at least spending a few hours a week in a cafe looking for a job and a few other things. I pay for other things too. I’m thinking of paying his driving lessons too.
I manage my finances well and it doesn’t affect my marriage. My husband believes I’m enabling my brother. I don’t think I am because I can see him improving with this approach. To sum it up, my brother has cancer in his late teens to early 20s and on top of a few other things it has left him anxiety ridden and traumatised. He’s not stupid and has a bachelor of siege (biomed) but no work experience.
I know my husband wouldn’t allow it but if I could I’d even let my brother move in until he gets his life together. I understand my husband’s stance but he doesn’t understand mine. It’s causing a lot of tension and my husband is attributing certain things to my brother. What can I do?