Submitted by oneeyedtrippy t3_y8rrvw in relationship_advice
The title says it all. As I sit here crying in tears, my partner condemns the relationship I had with my mother. My mother committed suicide on October 15, 2022. Literally less than 5 days ago. The day after her passing, my partner told me how she was uncomfortable seeing my mother in a vegetative state. I acknowledged that and told her I understand. I told her initially to not come while I take the bus to the hospital, but when I went alone, she insisted to take me to see my mother at the hospital. I let her. I visited my mother and realized how bad off she was. She was lifeless with tubes all in her face from an overdose. I knew I couldn’t be there alone and told my partner if she could come back with me. I needed comfort. I was scared. I was heartbroken. I lost my best friend. My partner tells me the day after she was never close to my mom and said I forced her to come when I didn’t. If she had said no, I would’ve said okay. I wasn’t thinking in that moment and just needed my rock to support me.
Tonight, she tells me how it’s weird my mother called me “baby” or “sweetheart.” My mother adopted this language from her grandmother and mother. My mom had nicknames for me and yes, I’m 28. It never bothered me but did bother her. Then, proceeds to comment that it was weird for my mother to say “you made me feel special and loved” after I supported her by listening. My mother was battling depression related to her health. I was the only one there to help her through her chronic illnesses (suspected multiple sclerosis and cancer), mental health and more. I know there were things that were toxic but my partner chooses to talk a lot of bad after my mother just passed less than five days ago. I am so distraught and hurt. I miss my mother so much and love her so much.
I don’t know what to make of it with my partner. I’ve been there for her and her whole family without hesitation.
TL;DR GF says negative things about my mother after she just had passed. She got mad for me wanting her to come with me because I needed comfort.