I was dishonest with my husband and he caught me. In desperation to get him to stay, I made a deal with him that I regretted, and now he is resentful.

I’ve struggled with alcohol for years. It got better for a little while. And then worse when my sons were younger. It’s severity has varied over the years but earlier this year it got much worse. I promised my husband I would go to AA meetings and go to therapy and I didn’t. I lied about going and I used the money I claimed was for the therapist for alcohol. The times I said I was there I was drinking. I lied to him about drinking when I was at home with our sons. This isn’t the first time I did things like these in our marriage, but this time he told me he was done. I was desperate to keep him even though I knew he was disgusted by my lies and didn’t respect me any more. I wanted to do anything to make him think our marriage was worth staying in.

I knew who he was attracted to. And I knew she had a crush on him. I told him while I focused on rehab and getting better we could open up the marriage so he could get what he needed as long as he was open with me about everything.

He was open with me about it all. They got to know each other so fast, spent hours together, texted constantly. They began sleeping together and I’ve never seen him so happy.

Now I’m ready to work on us again. I want to close our marriage and focus on just us. I told him this and he seems very resentful.

So I told him that this open marriage thing just turned into a way for him to morally cheat without needing to divorce me first, and if he wanted to keep the marriage open we might as well get a divorce and he can date just date kayla.

My husband flipped out on me. He said the only reason he did what he did was because I seemed insistent on him doing it, to appease my own guilt. He said that the only reason that I opened up the marriage was because of what I did, he said that he wasn’t ready to end things with her, but he also wasn’t ready to make our kids have to deal with us going through a divorce, Because he remembers how messed up he got from his parents divorce. He said if he had known that I was going to want him to stop, he never would’ve started in the first place. Now he’s telling me that he resents me for putting him in this position. He’s broken things off with her but now he’s acting sullen and angry.

ETA I have completed rehab and been completely sober for a month.