Submitted by ThrowRAWifePr0blem t3_yevrqk in relationship_advice
My wife Nina and I have been struggling for some time. We never made a lot of money and between the two of us, we're pulling in about $80,000 a year.
We are very behind on our bills. Collection agencies call our phones constantly. We can barely afford to keep the lights on, pay our rent, and keep our kids fed and clothed.
Nina handles the finances and I trust her to make the payments that we can. Yesterday, my team got a performance bonus at work and I was given $500. I decided to log in and put it towards our outstanding balance on the electric bill.
When I logged in, I saw no balance owed. This seemed strange so I looked at payment history and saw random payments for between $50 - $300 over the past three months that wiped out the balance.
I know we didn't have that kind of money to spare. So, as much as I hate this, I went through Nina's phone while she was sleeping. It was not good. Messages between her and Ed showed that they had been having sex while I was at work.
I lost it, and started screaming at her. She woke up, looked like a deer in the headlights, and started crying. She told me she did it for us. I asked what she was talking about.
She said that she had asked Ed for a loan to pay off some creditors. Ed and she were friends before we met, they never dated just kissed a few times. Ed said he knew she couldn't pay it back. He told her to send a topless photo and he would help her out. This escalated to full on nudes, oral sex, and then finally to sex. She swears she didn't want to, but saw it as the only way we'd ever get out from under this.
I told her I was going to contact his wife and she begged me not to. She admitted she was the one who offered to take it physical when he would only give her so much for photos. He said he loved his wife and wasn't interested. She pushed it until he agreed and he was so afraid of his marriage blowing up.
I'm not even against the idea of being open and brought up the idea of a threesome to Nina before, but she was very against it. She made it clear she's dead set on monogamy and would not share me. We only have sex 3 or 4 times a year, so she's not a very high libido partner.
I couldn't even untangle things, so I packed a bag with my clothes and left. I drove my truck to a hotel parking lot and slept there. I'm at work now but I just feel numb inside. I have no family here, my son and my daughter are my life, and my whole world is falling apart. I told a coworker what was going on and he made a joke about me renting my wife out to pay the bills. I can't think straight and don't know what to do at this point. I want to cry, scream, and vomit all at once.
tl:dr My wife has been sending naked photos and having sex with a friend in exchange for money to pay our overdue bills. I don't know what to do and I'm having a breakdown.