Submitted by venerablebug t3_yfz1y3 in relationship_advice
So I’m going through a breakup. My (38m) ex-girlfriend (38f) and I pretty much decided that our relationship wasn’t working and both of us had needs that weren’t getting met so we mutually and amicably decided to break up. Then the weirdest thing happened. My depression that had been plaguing me for years just went away. It was as if a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders and I could breathe for the first time in the 5 years that we had been together.
Here’s the thing: my ex is wonderful. She’s beautiful, smart, great in bed and an all around great person and I love her. I think I’m realizing for the first time in my life that I need as close as possible to absolute freedom to be happy. It’s like as soon as I feel tied down I start to get depressed and then life becomes really hard. I’m happy for the first time in 5 years and I’m wondering if anyone else out there can relate. Is this common and I’m just unaware? Is there a Reddit group for this?
I do feel a bit foolish for not realizing this sooner - I just couldn’t figure out why I was so sad when I had such a wonderful partner but now I think I know: it was because having a partner makes me enjoy life less no matter how wonderful they are.