Submitted by avjoe_1998 t3_yguy0e in relationship_advice
Since I am here for personal advice I will start by telling about me. I am a normal 24 year old white guy from the southwest. I'm not in great shape, what some people call skinny fat, thin, with no muscle mass. I've been told I have a forgettable face. "Cute" but average looking.
I still live in the same room I grew up in. My older brother and sister both moved out and got married, my parents moved to the keys. They let me stay in thier house. I send them rent for the room, but it is thier house still. I don't mess with my families rooms, I only use my bedroom, the den, the kitchen, and the bathroom.
I have been single since mid pandemic. My girlfriend since college broke up with me, because she doesn't think I have much of a future. I got my BS in mechanical Engineering, but I decided to stay at the job I got while in college. I am assistant manager at a Studio Movie Grill.
Onto the issue at hand.
For the last year I've been trying various forms of online dating. From web to phone apps. I've had maybe a dozen first dates. Maybe 3 second dates, zero 3rd dates, zero hookups.
Things changed 2 weeks ago, when I matched with "Sarah[23F]". Sarah isn't my usual match. She's a perfect 10. So much so that I assumed she was a porn bot when she matched with me. After I assumed she was a catfish. She's so far out of my league that we may as well be different species. We messaged each other for a bit, She's new to town, and recently single. Only been on 2 Tinder dates. She's a singer, she sent me a YouTube link. Very good. We exchange numbers, text for a other day, and setup our 1st date.
Best date I've ever been on. She wasn't a catfish. I played it super chill, we went to see the smile movie, Terrifying BTW. Had dinner and talked about alot of things. She moved here with her band, and works as a bartender part time. She was in a relationship since high-school. Didn't end super well. She didn't want to talk about it.
When I took her home, she kissed me. SHE KISSED ME. I asked if she wanted to have a second date, she said yes immediately.
The second date is where things started to get weird. She picked me up in her bands van. No problem with that. She drives like an extra from the fast and the furious though. Speeding, sharp turns, late stops. I held on to the bottom of my seat to not panic for most of the ride. The date itself was amazing though. We went to a comedy show, then dancing.
(Let me be honest for a minute. I am not usually this exciting. I am usually at home. I usually spend every minute I am not working at home playing video games.)
After dancing, she came back to my place, we had a couple of drinks, and she stayed the night. The night was mindblowing. I can't even put into words how much so.
We had our third date last night(friday). I picked her up. She wanted to see the new Halloween movie and I kind of wanted to show her off, so we went to my job to see it. It's a bonus that I get in free and get discounts on the food. I had a couple of drinks at the theater and Sarah offered to drive. On the freeway, someone cut us off. Sarah went ballistic. She went chasing them, screaming obscenities out of the window, telling them to pull over. The driver of this truck was HUGE. She was like, pull the F over, my boyfriend is gonna beat your A. My 2010 Hyundai couldn't keep up with his f250 and he sped away. She looked over and said, "crazy drivers".
She stayed over last night. This morning Sarah said that she could tell I was pulling away. I asked her what that was last night. She went full road rage on that guy. At 1st she said bad drivers make her crazy. Then she got a little teary. She said that she has anger issues. She says she sees a therapist though. She told me alot.
She grew up in the system, and all that entails.(not exactly sure what that entails though). She met an older guy and ran away with him when she was 16. She found out he was cheating on her a few months back, and it didn't end well. He has a protection order against her. That is part of the reason she moved here. She said that she knows she has issues, but she really likes me and she hopes that I like her too.
So that is where I am. I have a chance to date a fun, sweet woman, who is also the most beautiful woman I have ever met. Except she seems to have some serious anger issues, and whatever issues stem from her past. Either I take this chance, or I go back to sea of first dates.
TL;DR Went on the best date ever with the most beautiful woman I've ever been with, she likes me, and I like her. She has admitted having SERIOUS anger issues, and her ex has a protection order against her.
Edit/Update: Just had a long conversation with Sarah. She called, she said that she couldn't stop thinking about me, and about her behavior. She apologized again, and said that sometimes she just loses it. She knows that it's a big turn off and that I probably want to run as fast and as far away as I can. She said that she thinks I am a great guy, and it felt right from the 1st time we spoke. She knows she has alot to work on, and if I give her a chance she won't disappoint me. She said her whole life so far has been filled with people who just threw her away, or abandoned her, and didn't believe in her. When she sees me, she sees someone who cares, who's stable. She knows that she is putting alot on 3 dates, and she couldn't blame me if I ran for the hills. She said she can deal with her shit. She started crying. She said " please"?
I told her that she freaked me out. That she could have gotten us both killed. And that we all have baggage. I did tell her that I really like her too. That was really bad, and the stuff with her ex has me nervous. I told her that I need to sleep on this.(she asked if I wanted her to come over). I was very tempted, but I said not tonight. I said I'd make up my mind and tell her in the morning. She said she understands, and if I decide I want her to come over, txt her, no matter how late she will come.