Sexless relationship

Submitted by Lower_Ad_170 t3_z971wb in relationship_advice

Myself (24f) and my partner (24m) have been together for five years. During those years we have had a lots of ups and downs but we have always worked them out and I can honestly say we both deeply deeply care and love eachother. For the last year or so I have been suffering with recurring yeast infections which have meant there’s been long periods where we have been unable to have sex which has been really hard as we usually have a great sex life. In the last 6 months we have barely had sex and when we do he very very rarely finishes as he can’t stay hard - this was never an issue before. We have had lots of convos about this and he explains he feels a block began because he was worried we could be passing infections/ causing them and he is now always thinking about whether he will stay hard. He now never initiates sex and tonight he explained that he is worried we feel more like friends but cried explaining that he loves me and doesn’t want to break up and wishes this problem would go away because our relationship is perfect otherwise. He also said that he also thinks/ knows I am very good looking and knows so many men would be jealous of him but that he just can’t get rid of these feelings and problem. These problems also all began when we moved in to together so I feel like we have become too comfortable. I love him a lot but we both agree that as 24 year olds we want to be in passionate relationships with good sex lives. We just don’t know if this is a problem that will resolve or if the spark is gone forever. What should i/ we do? The thought of loosing what we have together devastates me as I truly believed I would spend my life with this man and I never for a million years thought this would be the end of us as before this year we have always been incredibly sexually compatible but I can tell it’s impacting both of our confidence.

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alexkartman t1_iyfbw4a wrote

A lot of times that is really a psychological problem. May not have anything to do with you at all.

My advice is I* would have him take Viagra (Sildenafil is generic). I think in his case only a half pill should be fine as he can initially get hard but his mind is preventing him from staying hard.

This can give him back his confidence during sex and he shouldn’t need it more than a few times until he’s back to normal.

*not a doctor or healthcare professional

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Lower_Ad_170 OP t1_iyfc8q6 wrote

I would agree! He compliments me loads and says he wants to have sex but he is really cautious to now incase he doesn’t stay hard. I would love him to try taking something but I feel he would take offence if I suggested it, I can get him hard but he explains he then starts overthinking and can’t focus on the sex cos he’s worried about staying hard!

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alexkartman t1_iyfcv05 wrote

Just let him know that you might have a solution to his mind being his own worst enemy and if he’s willing to be open minded.

He can go to a doctor or there’s plenty of options online that will prescribe.

It’s personally helped me get over my own issues during sex. Only used it 3 times and I was back to normal

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