I (24F) haven’t felt more disconnected than I did today.

Submitted by annoyingadviceseeker t3_z8vwvy in relationship_advice

I (24F) don’t listen to music… ever. I do however, sing myself. When there’s a new song my boyfriend (21M) likes that I find the lyrics beautiful to, I will listen to it purely to learn the song - once learnt I’ll never listen to it again.

I drive on long road trips with absolutely no music, no noise, just the wind and the sound of other cars passing by. I eat in silence, I game in silence (I even turn the music very low on games) you get the point.

My boyfriend loves music, but generally don’t play it while we’re on a call (long distance relationship) because we simply just talk and enjoy each other’s presence. Today though he put on music as he’s getting ready for work and even offered to put it off - I don’t want to be the kind of person to restrict him from doing things he loves, so of course I’d encourage him to continue playing it and listening to it.

I suddenly felt misplaced. Like I simply don’t belong in this world that everyone else is a part of. I haven’t felt more disconnected than I did today. I don’t feel like I belong in his world or just this world in general.

I told my boyfriend the other day that I’d love to wear pretty ball gowns and go to balls with him and dance (even though I have no idea how to), all though I never thought about music having to play - it simply didn’t register to me until he mentioned it now. He said I would have to learn to listen to music and love it if I want us to go to balls together. And I know he is right. (Edit: he doesn’t mean this like it is a MUST, but rather “in order to enjoy the experience of dancing,music should probably be played”)

I don’t know the point of this post, I guess I just wanted to rant and see if anyone else can relate or maybe give suggestions, advice, solutions…

Anywho, thank you for your time.

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princessofperky t1_iydjyu5 wrote

Why don't you listen to music? I'm not saying you have to because if it's not your thing it's not your thing. But there's music everywhere. At sporting events, in shows, even in elevators. So you must hear it sometimes. What about this instance made you feel disconnected

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annoyingadviceseeker OP t1_iydn9xs wrote

It’s not that I dislike music, I simply don’t ever feel the need to listen to it. It can play in restaurants, malls, friends can play it in the background (all though if the music is too loud and I can feel it vibrating it makes me extremely uncomfortable and makes me panic - not sure why)

I guess I felt distant because I realised that music is part of his world, and I felt like I take that away from him - all though he said that’s not the case. I simply can’t relate to people listening to music.

I used to listen to music when I was in high school - around when I was 14. I listened to Avril Lavigne, Billy Talent etc. It was towards the end of my high school that I stopped listening to music simply because I felt no need for it.

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princessofperky t1_iydpxj5 wrote

Are there other things people do that you can't relate to but that don't give you this feeling? For example I have friends who play video games. I do not. I don't relate to their conversations. But I still listen to them talk about it and I don't feel distant

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