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That’s a good one. Usually my saying is if we can’t enjoy each other or I can’t enjoy you, it’s not gonna work out cause why would I want to feel the need to be with somebody else if we are together

Every facet of a relationship is valued a different amount by each different person. Your partner could see sex as 1 of 10 things they make their relationship decisions on, and for you it could be 1 of 3, creating an imbalance in perceived importance. Love language tests help with this.

You need to decide if it's what's important to you in your relationship, of there are other avenues like opening the relationship, or if it's something you'll swallow because they check the other 8 of 9 points you have. Only you know, but even then you can't know eithout communicating and asking your partner questions - like if they think they are satisfying you or not

No one can answer that for you.

For me (44F), I left a man I loved very much because in spite of trying for several years, we just weren’t sexually compatible. At all.

Sex is important to me. I don’t want to have mediocre to bad sex. Life is too short.

This is a personal question. It’s up to you and your expectations in a relationship.

Lack of sex or bad sex is a dealbreaker for me.

I relate to your answer. I take my hat off to you for taking the plunge. Are you happier now?

Thank you - I appreciate your answer.

Totally. It really doesn’t have to be good sex OR good relationship. Frankly, the way I grew up, I thought sex was just for the guys and we women were basically here to make sure they had a good time. I’ve had a lot of sex I didn’t really want to have and a lot of just plain bad sex too. Once I got older and realized that hey, this party is for me too? Then I was done just putting up with it.

I really wish that we taught sex Ed in the US more like some of the Scandinavian countries where pleasure is discussed. It’s not just “don’t get pregnant or get a disease” but also….this should be enjoyable.

Wish I could go back in time and tell my late teen self that message! But I’m not wasting anymore time. Happy to have a lovely partner who cares about my enjoyment too.