Submitted by CSIorangesalad t3_yjktww in relationship_advice
The situation is that my girlfriend (f-30) is closing on a house soon, her parents offered to gift her a substantial down payment. We are getting married next year. I (m-29) don’t come from money and cannot come close to matching her parents down payment.
I’m trying to figure out the best way for me to be comfortable having no legal right to the house. Her parents don’t want me to be able to get the house if my partner passes away, this is a huge issue for me.
I think my judgement is being clouded by my uncomfortableness with the situation. I thought we were moving into “our” home but my girlfriend would be the owner. The more I think about it the more it feels like her parents own the home. I’m afraid of what other “requirements” I’ll have to deal with.
I understand to a point where they are coming from, they are gifting their daughter a large down payment. If she passed away after a year or something, they don’t want it all to go to me. But how long after we are married would be reasonable for the house to go me? 5? 10 years? What would be a compromise? I feel weird putting my time and effort into the house for little security.
I wouldn’t be paying towards the mortgage but rather would pay towards utilities. They proposed I buy furniture that I can keep if anything happens as an “investment”, and I’ll have to pay much less than if we split the mortgage. I don’t want to be resentful of this home, my partner or her parents. If anyone has experience with this, please provide your perspective. Thanks.