Submitted by ThrowRAaus93 t3_ymu78f in relationship_advice
Wow!
So for starters, I did not mean to submit that post unfinished yesterday.I don’t even know if I was going to post it at all! I definitely had needed to vent (I am in a MUCH better headspace than I was last night, thats for sure lol!) I had meant to hit the ‘save draft’ button instead of ‘post’ (they’re right next to each other!) and clearly there was still a lot of information missing from my post, but by the time I signed back on it had already hit it’s comment limit so I’m going to clarify some things I saw in the comments here.
There must be something wrong with you if you don’t have more custody, the courts ALWAYS favor the mother!
My ex-husband and I have split 50/50 legal and custodial custody of our sons. This was always the plan from the get go, this is the legal court order. The reason my sons end up spending more time over my ex-husband’s house is because he works from home most of the time, and I have an hour and a half commute to and from work.
During the work week, our sons are happier to be at their father’s house (the house they grew up in) because it’s central to their friends, and since it’s a small neighborhood they can walk to their friends house instead of needing to rely on an adult for a ride, as they do when they stay at my house.
In general, since the co-parenting relationship between my ex is good, we let the boys make the call on who’s house they want to go to after school, and their decision normally depends on who’s home to drive them places, which friends are home, etc. Our sons are very happy, and both my ex-husband and I, as well as my sons new stepmother are all wonderful parents.
You must have done something wrong if you didn’t get the house in the divorce.
My husband bought me out of my half of the house. We didn’t want to force our sons to move and our house needs a lot of updates. My exhusband is handy so he can do all of these improvements on his own. I would need to hire someone. It made the most sense for him to keep the house, and for me to use the money from my half to put towards on a house for myself.
The only common denominator here is you, there must be something wrong with you!
A lot of comments just seemed set that there must be an issue with ME if my family wanted to go to my ex’s wedding. In truth, I think my family’s loyalty to my ex is because of a few things, and the main one was the part of the post that I didn’t get to add in. When I first found out about the affair, my mother told me that she sympathized but thought it was my ‘duty’ to forgive him.
After I found out about everything, my ex wanted to reconcile and I said no. Cheating isn’t something I could ever forgive, and that was something I had made clear from the beginning, that I would be willing to work through a lot but not infidelity. My family was furious that I didn’t take him back. I think they still hold on a lot of resentment over that.
Moving on, the reason why I didn’t finish the post yesterday was because I had gotten a call from my ex-husband, frantic. One of our sons had broke his arm tripping down some stairs outside. Everyone had been drinking so they needed me to come and take care of everything.
So, yeah. I ended up going to my ex-husband’s wedding…dressed in my workout clothes, wearing no makeup. Our son is fine. He is a wild child, and nurses know him by name. Thanks for all of the support! I definitely feel the love :) It was insane today to log in and see all of those notifications! If I didn't make anything clear enough, please let me know! To say I'm tired is an understatement.