Submitted by UnluckyGuyThrowaway t3_yqr3ii in relationship_advice
Throwaway for privacy.
Context: I'm Trustin (30M) and me my wife Lily (28F) have been married for 7 years. She recently had to use her vacation days separately from mine as we weren't able to make our different work schedules match. She traveled to our hometown to meet family and friends and I'm doing the same a month later. I actually think it's good to have some alone time to unwind, so no issues there.
The problem is, I'm now here in our hometown and went drinking with our friends in common last night. They started talking about how cool it is I'm back (and she was back) to visit them and ended up mentioning they had fun at Verm's place.
I didn't know Verm, so asked who he is and it turns out to be he's an acquaintance of hers and his place is used to get wasted on a variety of substances and to have sex. The guy's a mess and multiple friends confirmed that to be true (the fact she was there, and that people get wasted and have sex there on weekends).
Our friends obviously thought I was cool about it, but I only got to know about it last night.
I didn't confront her as I wanted to do it in person when I got back, but I guess I was visibly shocked enough that some of our friends told her I was informed about the situation. I woke up today to a bunch of missed calls, messages and audio clips.
She was angry I was ignoring her (I was actually sleeping) and said our friends are liars. That she didn't mention she was there so as not to make me insecure, and that they only played some tabletop RPGs and she left before midnight. She says she only had 4 cans of beer and barely interacted with people there, but, again, I also got multiple friends telling me she smoke two joints and they had a blast. A random girl even mentioned "Lily's so pretty, I wanted to make out with her too but she's out my league..."
I'm pissed she lied to me, having cheated on me or not, and keeps lying! I have to admit, I don't have much confidence in my actions so I'm afraid to have that 1-on-1 talk and I end up letting this go only to regret it later.
Should I just get into the house to grab my stuff and leave?