Submitted by loveandfamily100 t3_ysrhck in relationship_advice
My husband and I have had an ongoing argument about lunches. I need some advice . Please help. I make lunches for husband just about every day. I make him good food such as chicken and rice , homemade Yumm bowls, borritos. Things I would want to eat if someone where to make me lunch.l and tryely and joyed to make them for him. Well, every once in a while im unable to make lunch because im human and life happens. (Maybe 2 or 3 times a month?) This is not okay in his eyes. The lunch must be made every day or els I’m not doing my job. He says that im not caring about him and how he feels, that I’m taking him for granted, that he should never have to go and buy his own lunch. This is really stressful for me because if I for some reason can’t make lunch, i have to deal with the wrath of hearing how i don’t care, I’m being inconsiderate , etc. This really hurts my feelings has been an on going resentment causing issue and I really need help on how to deal with it.
So my husband works full time and is a student as an apprentice. I stay home with our 3 year old.
He makes around 3000/month I make 841/month (from social security for one of my kids has autism ) He pays 800 in rent, 200 in phones. I pay 300 in rent, 170 in electric/ water, 50 for garbage, all of the household product including soap, all of the kids cloths. We have food stamps so food is covered.
I also do all of the house hold work, and I am the only one that makes dinners .
Also, if I’m running late and leave things out because i don’t have time to put them away at the moment, same issue. I’m inconsiderate of him and disrespecting him. Also, I rarely ask him to do ANYTHING for me .
I want to know from a man’s perspective, am I really not doing my part ? Do I need to put more of his feelings about this into consideration?
My personal feelings: I feel a little taken advantage of. And that he is the one being inconsiderate of my time and energy. And being blind to how much I do for him at home. And the though of me having that pressure on me to make sure the house is constantly spotless, an dinners and lunches are all constantly made with out fail, and having deal with emotionally paying for it if I don’t makes me feel pretty awful. And the fact I get almost no help with anything. It really does hurt my feelings whe he says I should try harder and if I was more organized this wouldn’t happen, I feel as if I’m seen As if I’m seen as a servant and maid vs a partner.
AND he has these same expectations when I was working and going to school .