Submitted by No_Milk_8715 t3_ysvdgk in relationship_advice
My father passed away when I was 6 months pregnant. Savings wise we only had just over $5000 as we had spent the bulk of it doing IVF to get pregnant. After everything was done, my father had left me $120,000. My partner and I used $80,000 to buy a house, then spent a bit on some new furniture and random things. We are currently left with $23,000 and I’m pregnant again with baby number 2. My partner (far in the past) suffered from addiction problems and since getting together 6 years ago, I’ve always managed the money because he has never been great with managing it. Recently I noticed that he had been taking money out of the savings account daily for cigarettes, alcohol and anything else that he thought he needed. I’ll admit that I handled the situation POORLY…basically I snapped and yelled at him something along the lines of “I’m sure my father is incredibly proud that we’re spending his money on smokes and alcohol”. This could not have gone down any worse if I tried. My partner is saying that I am belittling him and that now everything we pay will be 50/50 even though he quite literally earns 5x more than I do. He even gave me a list of things that I will need to pay each month. I did the math and it will work out that I have exactly $0 after I have paid half of everything. To be honest, I’m actually $7 down a month. This all happened yesterday. I stressed out so badly last night that I barely slept. I don’t know how I’m going to cope financially now. This morning I was quite upset and the fight kicked off again only this time it got ugly and he told me that I am crazy, I’m lying about money and that I’m hiding money…I wish I was. He also threw in how ugly and fat and unattractive he thinks I am. I have moved my things into the spare room. Now my stress about money is also stress about what will happen with my daughter (16 months), the baby I’m pregnant with and also the house that essentially my father paid for which I certainly can’t afford alone. Besides the incredible stress, I’m hating myself for how I look, I’m feeling like the definition of unsupported and I think I need some real and honest opinions and advice.