Submitted by throwawayqgain t3_ytjgw3 in relationship_advice
I'll try to make this short and simple. I'm really venting but would love some advice of what to do next.
Oct. 2nd my boyfriend(32M) and I(30F) went to a concert together. We were having a great time the entire time. We were both drinking and well drunk for the first time in a month or so having a lot of fun. I went out to get another drink and he asked if I was 'good' I said yes would you like a drink? He said yeah i want a white wine. I've known this man and been by his side for over 2 years....never would I ever have guessed that would be his order. So I asked if he was sure? I jokingly asked if it was for the girls who were being sweet to him earlier. He flipped. It's normal for us to joke but apparently not this time. He told me he hated me that he was miserable with me and hated being around me. I tried to calm him down which worked for a half a second. Then he wanted to leave. We end up leaving we get back to his place and I have to pee. So I run in. He met me outside of the door after and told me to 'get my shit and leave' I said is this really what you want to do after 2 years? He screamed in my face to get out of his house. He slammed the door. He said I could either take the uber or he'd call the cops. I left.
Fast forward 10 days I hadn't talked to him at all during this. I had been miserable, sick to my stomach and alone. My brother and his wife had stayed the night with me once while they were in town. I had been puking on and off for the last couple days which I did once while they were there. I explained I was probably just upset about everything they told me to take a test. I did. I immediately drove to my ex work and told him. (We work together so this has been even harder) we were very emotional he was very nice he had tried tk say sorry for how he acted but he didn't have a lot to say about it. He was also in complete shock about the announcement. He said we would figure things out and he needed to think after over an hour of talking in the parking lot.
A couple hours later he calls me spazzing out about how he found a place to do a blood test and we need to go do it right away. I said ok....I'm working but we could go why the sudden change of tune. I already knew he had probably called his friend and his friend said he shoukd get some proof. So instead of going to the blood test somewhere random, I sent him 2 more pregnancy tests the next morning and the next week I got a blood test and sent him those. The day I sent the blood results he told me he wanted to he supportive but we shouldn't get back together because he wasn't happy in the relationship. I asked him to come over to talk after crying on the phone for a while asking him how can he be involved if he's not going to be around. He came over we talked for a few minutes about how his son would handle this. How this isn't what he wanted for his life and how he was really happy he could be here sitting with me. We hooked up...he left after saying it was awesome and that it was never an issue for us whatever. Next day I texted said I was glad he came he said he was confused and that it fucked his head up I said it was just as simple as what it was. He left for a trip to Vegas we were supposed to be going on together the next day. No word while he was gone. When he got back he texted once and asked how I was we had a really good maybe 2 hour window of texting. Halloween rolled around and our company party was at his house (he's roommates with the boss so technically his roommates house) He was very happy to see me he said it several times and gave me a big hug. He talked to me a couple times over the course of the night. When I was leaving I wanted to say bye to him so I told him I was leaving and asked if he wanted to walk me out he said ok. I walked down the driveway and asked how he was. His first words were 'I'm miserable. I'm really depressed and upset. But I'm just gonna keep drinking so I don't feel that' (he I'd very drunk at this point) I told him I was sorry to hear that and tried to ask why but he was a mess. He walked me further and commented on how gorgeous I was, about how he wanted to be friends 'let's be friends' he kept saying I told him I didn't want that he said well let's be friends again. I told him we needed to talk soon because we haven't discussed much. He said yes I'll come over to talk. He told me several times he loved me, he kissed me on the forehead several times along with a few hugs and told me he would see me tomorrow. I said no you won't he said 'you never know'.. I obviously knew he was tanked and didn't take much of what he said to heart. It's been almost 2 weeks since then....I haven't heard a word from him. He's been missing work, going out every night to party. I haven't heard anything from him at all or from anyone around him. There's a couple people at work who have told me where he is or what he's doing but I haven't asked. I just feel absolutely crazy. I feel like he doesn't believe me or he genuinely thinks he can run from life? I'm completely crushed and lost. He was my best friend..we got along for most everything i hated that he had a roommate adter 2 years of datingi thought it should be us living together..... He's unrecognizable at this point... this isn't who he is. He's spiraling and he has several people around him enabling him. I'm lost on what to do. Every day I change my mind of wanting to scream at him or try to help him or just running myself. Any advice or similar situations or what the fuck I should do next... greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: boyfriend broke up with me a week later I find I'm pregnant. We haven't spoke since halloween, haven't even discussed options. I don't think he believes me. I have sent pregnancy tests and blood work.
Edit 1: Thanks for all the support and comments. It's hard to read but a lot of it has been helpful. Some of you dont like my writing style it was a hurried text but no, I am not a teenager I am not 17 trying to sound older or manipulate anything. Genuinely hurting and trying to piece things together and vent at the same time. I guess I wasn't so much looking for input on a decision to make about the baby itself.... now that I read these. But the working together and him not speaking to me has really thrown me. It's not that I need him to help me decide....it's that I don't want to surprise him or 'ruin his life' further? I know I know, who cares. Well I do. This is a normally very emotional, considerate, and thoughtful man. He does already have a son, he's 6. He's a good dad to him has him half the week and every other weekend. He loves him to death. He never wanted to be a dad but those are the cards dealt. A lot of this scenario probably feelings like he did before, trapped. His ex wife was crazy and abusive, physically and mentally. They were together for 6 years and he married her because she was pregnant. The likelihood of him cheating is extremely low as we were usually together or he was with his kid who was very eager to tell me about their activities. I just figured if I could talk to him first it would be nice to have someone else approach him at work and be like 'wow man heard about everything you're a piece of a shit'. But he has shown his true colors so....maybe I won't worry about how he looks and just worry about what's best for me and my body.