Submitted by stormine_dragon t3_yuflcr in relationship_advice
For context, I (24F) and my fiancé (29M) have been together for 2 years and are planning to get married next year. He proposed a month after we celebrated our 1 year anniversary. We truly love each other and after a plethora of very mentally abusive and neglectful relationships I’ve been in, I am over the moon that I found my soulmate and someone as wonderful as he has been for the past 2 years.
We are very open on a myriad of different subjects, and one of the most controversial ones is abortion. Both he and I are pro choice, although he is slightly more restrictive in his opinions, but in the end it always comes down to “woman’s body and woman’s choice”. During our last convo I asked him how would he react in a hypothetical case that we weren’t together and another girl he’s with decided to terminate because she doesn’t want a child currently, and while I have heard a lot of different opinions about termination, this one I have heard for the first time and he said if he found himself in such a situation he would be there for his partner and all, but his willingness to try for a child again would be significantly decreased. As in, it would take quite a lot of talking to convince him to try for another baby again, his reasoning is that no matter how hard he would try to forget the first child, the thought of her/him would always be in a part of his brain and he wouldn’t be able to completely forget it.
He wouldn’t blame the partner, he wouldn’t be mad or weaponize that against the girl, but it would be much harder for him to find a legitimate reason to try for a child again.
I just wanted to ask others and hear the comments on that perspective since I haven’t heard something like this from a man, so it was quite new to me.