Submitted by felci t3_z7439q in relationship_advice
I am ashamed but I really need some advice.
I’ve (20F) been with my (now ex) boyfriend (25M) for 2 years. We’ve had a rocky relationship but I feel like we’ve both grown as partners. Currently he’s in prison, but this starts before that.
He had a girl “best friend” who he would put before me in the past. He would ditch me for her and always tried to make it a competition. They had a fwb sexual relationship before he met me. It almost caused a huge break up and it left me with tha lot of trauma and insecurity. Somehow we managed to move on from that and he promised he’d never do this again.
Then he went to prison for a year. I’ve been constantly there for him, picking up his calls and sending him photos. His girl best friend ditched him and hasn’t reached out to him at all. As for our relationship, it seemed we had grown so much with each other and became more connected now than ever. I really thought he had changed for me. He promised me.
However, it came out that after an argument he called her and she picked up finally and now everything’s changed. He told me she flirted with him and said she loves him and he said it’s not bad to hear her voice. When he told me this I broke down and in a moment of vulnerability I told him me or her. I begged him to not speak to her again and it always ruins our relationship.
He said he picked me but then he said he won’t stop speaking to her. So he chose her. I told him I can’t be with him if he won’t set this boundary for me. He flipped out and said really horrible things to me and then hung up. I told him he’d never hear from me again.
I blocked him at that moment and it’s been a few days. I’ve been crying and picking myself up. What’s stung since then is that his mother (who I’m really close to) has followed his girl best friend on social media. It just hurts.
What I know is when this girl stops picking up for him (she has a history of ditching) he will try come back to me. Please give me advice or share stories on how I can put this to rest for good? I know I am really stupid I feel so ashamed but I was so in love.
Edit: thank you everyone who’s commented, even the blunt ones, I’ve read every comment and am taking the time to take all the advice to heart. I really appreciate all the nice words.