[28F][27M] I think my husband of five years wants a baby, but he won’t talk about it.

Submitted by ThrowRAPickle15 t3_zzunpu in relationship_advice

I have been married to my husband for over five years now. We have a great relationship, but with losing jobs, the pandemic, and other issues, we aren’t where we expected to be financially at this point in our lives.

In late 2019, we decided to take me off contraception, and start a family. Soon after the pandemic hit and we stopped trying (started using condoms)

There have been a few times where we didn’t, and we once or twice used plan B.

We met with my husbands family over the Christmas holidays, and we found out that his cousin who recently got married are expecting a baby, the first baby of our generation. He seemed excited for them, and we chatted about it, but not about us having a baby. We went back home the following day. That day, the following day, and today we have slept together, and each time he hasn’t worn a condom. I’ve tried to bring up his cousin and their baby a few times to see if he says anything, but he hasn’t. I’m open to the idea and accept our financial situation is going to take a while to fix, but we are right near being able to buy a house and I don’t want this to jeopardise that. I just don’t know what to say to bring up the conversation and have tried to let him take the lead on the conversation. Does he want a baby? I’ve basically out right asked him if he does, but he hasn’t answered me.

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_raq_ t1_j2dtazy wrote

I feel like if you cant communicate with your husband, you shouldn't be having kids. It's really time for a sit down conversation to talk about your plans for the future and how you're getting there.

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Fuzzy-Ad559 t1_j2e15hc wrote

Or you could - you know, ask him directly instead of using someone else's pregnancy to bring up the topic. "hey babe, I'm getting this feeling that we need to talk about the possibility of a baby and how we both feel about it, do you want kids?" Instead of throwing hints to see if he says anything. This is not a conversation you can start on hints. It is a serious thing that will change both your lives.

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UsuallyWrite2 t1_j2e5gdi wrote

You need to actually talk to him. Not hint around, not ask what he wants, tell him what you want and what you’re thinking. You’re not a passenger in the relationship.

And if you don’t want to be pregnant, get back on BC or use condoms.

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