So I know, logic versus emotion. The emotional is always in the right. The logic always needs to take the backseat and just listen and support.

Edit: my question is how to present advice to someone who's whole life has been to be singularly responsible for everything.

But I've tried that. However when it comes to issues that affect major life decisions like vehicle buying or apartment hunting. I try to be more outspoken.

These decisions should be a two person decision but constantly wether I have my own opinion. Which I keep to myself and instead create compromises that are fair. (which end up being ignored because they're considered my opinions instead of being the compromise)

For example. The latest few is that she wanted a car that was a little over 2k. We had just barely enough to buy it outright. But we were both informed that it had transmission issues. And most likely wouldn't last a full year. I highly suggested it not be bought. But since it was her money from her last car being sold (that I was able to sell for 2k more then it was potentially worth) I didn't try to force any decision. I advised against and supported or at the very least ignored the consequences of her decision.

Then we hit another decision that would affect the whole family. Either renewing the apartment lease or moving. I again highly suggested renewal. Regardless of the gun violence and the constant theft nearby. (two bikes and my car were stolen just from me, neighbors also lost items). But again. It was her decision because her name was on it.

Now she wants to buy a car that is 15-18k. We have 2000 dollars to our name. No apartment because waiting for her to work with her section 8 team to find something. And my opinion is that we don't buy anything over 3-4k. So I created compromise and presented it to her.

(-------)

**Buy something 3-4k. Hold it for 6 months for the last 6 months of her pregnancy, sell it for close to or even more, use that money, plus any and all money saved in 6 months (which would be around 9-10k) to buy a higher priced vehicle. **

(--------)

Her argument is that she wants a car that is sure to last. She has only had a handful of cars. And I have only had a handful of cheap cars and one semi expensive one.

Currently her car was broken down, towed and isn't worth taking back. My car was stolen and I still owe my boss the money he fronted for it so I could continue to work. (I now rely on public transportation and foreman transportation if available).

Her argument is that any car less than 10k breaks too fast. Her argument is that any breakdown, even if it's an alternator is too much.

My argument is that I think I can get our monthly for the car down low enough if I was given 6 more months to save for her.

She thinks I'm being selfish based off the one time I bought a car out of my price range and thinks she can do better. And she thinks that any car I find for her, to make it last for 6 months is nigh impossible, and that by making such a promise. I only have my own interests at heart and not my semi family of 6. (Three kids on weekends, 1, soon to be two kids on weekdays.). She accepts government credit via WIC, EBT and TANFF, and section 8 housing. She technically makes more than I do before taxes. And I work 40hours a week unless she tells me she can't handle parenting and calls me home or needs me to take care of pick up and drop off at school even though I don't have a car. And the school won't let her on the grounds.

I apologize if my writing is hard to follow. I urge you to read it a couple times and pretend like you're buzzed. Because I am. I'm internally stressed as much as she's externally stressed. And I use nicotine, and alcohol and Netflix and TikTok and online books and the occasional walk or bike ride to destress. She uses TikTok to destress and complains I don't give her enough ways to destress. (she's trying to say I don't have enough sex with her to destress basically but there may be more to that)