[22M] [21F] The way my girlfriend interacts with other guys (+ her ex ) makes me uncomfortable.

Submitted by Apprehensive-Step410 t3_1005w65 in relationship_advice

[22M] [21F] My girlfriend of 1 year has been having instagram conversions I am uncomfortable with. I recently seen messages on her phone from her ex, who she has been texting a considerable amount throughout our relationship (roughly 3 times a month, with a hell of a lot of text).

Her and her ex are in the same friend group for background and I did not like some of the text I read. A lot was cordial, but some was not (it’s obvious he wants something with or off of her). He has text numerous times after midnight asking where she was or if she was alone for example. She never engaged back to this type of text in a really flirty way, but what gets me is that she was still in the conversation and leading him on. She says she didn’t realise and that they’re just friends and it was just out of respect to text him back, but it hurt me pretty bad and makes me uncomfortable.

Another example occurred today when I seen messages from a guy she’s hooked up with in the past. He texts flirting and she responds, not being flirty back but being abrupt/witty kind of (in a way that maybe can be interpreted as interested + I don’t like the fact that she didn’t kill the conversation straight away).

All this being said, I’m uncomfortable with what she thinks is normal in a relationship and how she has text/ interacted with other dudes. I believe she would never cheat but we talked a lot about this in the last few days and about how it makes me feel.

I’m so confused and upset that this has led to some arguments. I feel toxic and stupid that I even had to bring this up, I just thought these were fundamental things not to do in a relationship.

I’m trying to be relaxed but I can help but feel insecure lately.

3

Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

jovijovi99 t1_j2fsobt wrote

You’re here because you know for a fact that she has unresolved feelings for these people and can’t let them go out of respect for you and the relationship. You can’t expect a committed relationship out of someone that wants or enjoys attention from past flames. You’re not insecure or toxic for expecting common decency and she’s a Class A narcissist if that’s how she’s made you feel about it.

7

AutoModerator t1_j2fpakt wrote

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

  • We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

  • Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

  • ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.

  • No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

  • All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

  • What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.

#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1